Am I a bigender or genderfluid?

[Ryan A.]

Hey people, it's me again! "Oh my, this guy again? He writes a lot!" LOL

So, when I started to post here I remembered that I thought I wasn't a CD enough, I was scared that y'all here could say I didn't belong here, and with just a feel threads and posts, I even consider myself more than a CD! It's really crazy (as a good thing)!

I wanna thank again Mikaela for presenting me the term bigender, it really cleared my mind! I searched for your threads and I found the one you told me about, thank you so much!

But now, I'm confused again LOL now I know that exist this term: genderfluid. Who am I?

I found this website explaining both and here it is:

Bigender: “To identify as both genders and/or to have a tendency to move between masculine and feminine gender-typed behavior depending on context, expressing a distinctly male persona and a distinctly female persona, two separate genders in one body.” (via GenderQueer and Queer Terms).

Gender fluid: “Referring to a gender identity that changes with time and/or situation as opposed to a fixed sex-role or gender queer expression.” (via Claire R. Winter - Understanding Transgender Diversity: A Sensible Explanation of Sexual and Gender Identities (2010).

So, bigender is 2 genders in one body, and genderfluid is 1 gender that changes with time trought 2 considered-genders-of-a-society??? That's it? If yes, than I think I am bigender because I feel 2 genders inside of me. When I am a man, I hate my boobs and I can feel a extra feeling right there. I'm still sensitive, but also my atraction change! I feel atracted to woman when I'm a man and I'm atracted to man when I'm a woman. I'm not bisexual. Is it make sense?

[Ryan A.]

By the way, while I was searching I found this gifs, I just loooooove it LOL! Y'all know where it is from?

[Andy66]

Not ignoring you, Ryan. I am having problems posting. I like your gifs, and I think they illustrate my opinion very well. You can call yourself whatever you want and drive yourself nuts trying to find a box that fits just right.. or you can say to heck with the box.

[mistunderstood]

Box? Hell I only have wrappers. If it comes in a box I am afraid it might be the Taco Bell dog and I am over the pet limit as it is.

[Ryan A.]

Not ignoring you, Ryan. I am having problems posting. I like your gifs, and I think they illustrate my opinion very well. You can call yourself whatever you want and drive yourself nuts trying to find a box that fits just right.. or you can say to heck with the box.

If I considered myself something... That's it? Oh my, it's so simple and at the same time hard. I'm so attached to rules and all is so new to me... So, if I say I am bigender... I am! Right?

Box? Hell I only have wrappers. If it comes in a box I am afraid it might be the Taco Bell dog and I am over the pet limit as it is.

Hahaha! I thought it was interesting this gifs, I think I created myself a box around me, like walls, that's why I was confused... The second one is really great, saying that there isn't!

Thank you guys! I'm feeling a lot better right now!

[Debglam]

Hi Ryan,

I consider myself to be bigender. I may be wrong, but I use that term because I am either female or male (with a little androgyny mixed in). I always thought genderfluid was more anti-binary, you just kind of consider yourself a mix of both, but not either.

Anyway, labels don't mean shit! Just be who you are!

Debby

[Andy66]

Alot of those labels are so vague it really doesnt mean much. I suspect its just something some random person made up.

[ReineD]

Alot of those labels are so vague it really doesnt mean much. I suspect its just something some random person made up.

This.

It's a question of personal choice, and which of the terms you feel best describes you. The underlying idea is the same, whether it is bigender, dualgender, gender fluid, gender non-conforming, pangender, polygender, even genderqueer. Some people also just prefer to use the umbrella term "transgender" and appropriate it for themselves as meaning a state between crossdresser and transsexual. Whatever term you use, it means that you do not see yourself belonging strictly to either one of the binary genders. I wouldn't recommend using "transgender" though. This word is not descriptive since many people see it as an umbrella term for anyone who is not cisgender.

If I did not see myself part of the binary, I think I'd like to call myself gender fluid. I like the sound and it has a visual connotation. My SO calls herself dualgender, because s/he feels s/he is always both genders internally, no matter how s/he presents.

[Ryan A.]

Hi Ryan,

I consider myself to be bigender. I may be wrong, but I use that term because I am either female or male (with a little androgyny mixed in). I always thought genderfluid was more anti-binary, you just kind of consider yourself a mix of both, but not either.

Anyway, labels don't mean shit! Just be who you are!

Debby

Yeah! It's true... I mean, I felt the same about genderfluid, it feels like is one thing, and bigender are two things, and I feel this way!

[Ryan A.]

Y'all right... Maybe it's too much label, but I feel it's necessary... I mean, Debglam said that labels doesn't mean shit, and she's right, but at the same time having a label help me to know who I am for me (and for others) in society... And I searched for the easiest word to describe me and to explain to others hehehe

I feel sometimes it's vague, no wonder I'm confused like ever, but if bigender and genderfluid are what I think it is, it makes sense to me... Sometimes I feel it is a lot of labels, but humans are so complex, I think the labels get us confused more, so that later the labels simplify us more LOL

I don't know if there's a word to translate "genderfluid" to portuguese, at least a nice word... Bigender translate to "bigênero", I like the sound of it!

Own I'm feeling so happy here!

[Tracii G]

People tend to feel the need to classify EVERYTHING and that gets confusing at best.

[Lorileah]

Be the box. Sorry sports saying there.

Be both. Why just try and be one?

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Ryan, I think that many of us here don't fit in any "box" and the gender fluid expression may be a better fit for many of us. In any case, I think you are just yourself my friend and are appreciated as such.

[mistunderstood]

Being Wiccan I believe in being to spirited. I started out thinking I was just a man but as time has gone by I find my-self more accepting that I have a little bit of a female spirit to. I consider my-self a FTM but I learned it is ok to use your female side to.

[Kate Simmons]

Being Wiccan I believe in being to spirited. I started out thinking I was just a man but as time has gone by I find my-self more accepting that I have a little bit of a female spirit to. I consider my-self a FTM but I learned it is ok to use your female side to.

I've pretty much amalgamated my feelings and energies into a full spectrum being. I don't classify myself for the most part as how I express myself is totally my choice at any particular time. This is where the gender fluidity comes in handy as I am a positive energy person as well.

[Tracii G]

Being Wiccan I believe in being to spirited. I started out thinking I was just a man but as time has gone by I find my-self more accepting that I have a little bit of a female spirit to. I consider my-self a FTM but I learned it is ok to use your female side to.

I have a close Navajo Indian friend and we have discussed the two spirited aspect quit a lot.
His great Grandfather was a shaman and he said the American Indians considered a person with two spirits quite special.

[NathalieX66]

My mind is all over the place. Transition is always on my mind. I enjoy being a guy too!
I have been lucky to have met so many who are transitioning/have transitioned, and I realize I am not exactly the same place as they are. They make me jealous, but I am reminded that I have a strong guy identity too.

I also don't enjoy being the cis-gendered male. ......Screw you, "guys" I don't want to live your life.
"
So.....I shall live on the edge of this fence until something commands me one day to say "OK, this is where I belong".

[AimeeG]

Your a person, get used to it. No label required.

You know how on clothes that don't have tags anymore, like Haynes or some underwear...eventually after you wear them long enough the label wears off...what is it then...?

[Kathryn Martin]

Much good would come if you began developing a phenomenology of what it means to be gender fluid. I am not, being firmly rooted in the binary, but I completely get being gender fluid. I actually disagree with Reine, I think that being gender fluid is not a choice of how you describe yourself. I think gender fluidity is not only a nurture issue but also a nature issue. It would help if you could start describing it from your perspective, from the vantage point of someone experiencing it.

[ReineD]

Kathryn what I meant was, there are a number of terms to describe gender fluidity and it is up to each individual to choose the term that best fits them, if they are, in fact, gender fluid.

[kimdl93]

Really, these are just words we use to describe ourselves and hopefully to better understand ourselves. At times we are obliged to use such terms to describe ourselves to others. But remember that there is no litmus test, no objective measure that will determine if you are bi-gender, gender fluid, gender elastic or gender indifferent. In the end you pick the term that feels and sounds right to you.

I rather like gender elastic and gender indifferent....but I think I just made those up. Feel free to make up your own terms too!

[JadeEmber]

I'm late to this, but there is one thing I'd want to add. While we shouldn't be trapped, our ability to communicate with each other and with people in the future is dependent on other people and future people understanding what we mean. So, when we can, we should try and agree on what these common terms mean. I can't imagine how different my life would be if I didn't have access to mass amounts of books and film on subjects that allow me to see life from all of these other people's perspectives, disregarding aesthetics or the passing of knowledge. So, why make it any harder?

However, yeah, only you can say who you are, although you can choose to try to convey that. Also, the terms are somewhat mutable as the whole topic remains in transition. Some terms are actually a bit conflicted, so one will get into large discussions about what a term means. Sometimes I learn new things as we go. It's actually a bit frustrating, hence my post.

Another complexity related to the discussions over what things means is this: http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajo...om-the-future/

The link is a discussion of people "outing" people to themselves before they realize it themselves, and how that's not great. I tend to think that this is part of the difficulty in getting everyone to agree on meaning, since our culture views some things as shameful. Of course, people can also believe that people fit in a box when they don't, in the end, so whatever

[Ryan A.]

Being Wiccan I believe in being to spirited. I started out thinking I was just a man but as time has gone by I find my-self more accepting that I have a little bit of a female spirit to. I consider my-self a FTM but I learned it is ok to use your female side to.

This is so cool that you are Wiccan! I don't considered myself Wiccan because I don't follow any religion, I don't feel that I fit in any, but I love Wicca and I believe in almost everything that teach us! I consider myself a witch/wizard because of my beliefs and how I see and act in the world and with others! The two spirits idea it's really cool and beautifiul!

(I remember when I was a kid I thought I were a man in my last life, and I didn't know why I kept this in my mind... Like, now I'm born female and it's like I miss the man's body, but I like the female one too...)

I've pretty much amalgamated my feelings and energies into a full spectrum being. I don't classify myself for the most part as how I express myself is totally my choice at any particular time. This is where the gender fluidity comes in handy as I am a positive energy person as well.

That's really cool, I guess that's why I feel that I'm not genderfluid, 'cause I feel it's like two things inside of me that look like one. Like, a memory from the past with the memory of the present... Wow, that's crazy... I don't really know if it's really this...

I have a close Navajo Indian friend and we have discussed the two spirited aspect quit a lot.
His great Grandfather was a shaman and he said the American Indians considered a person with two spirits quite special.

Own that's really cool, very interesting!

My mind is all over the place. Transition is always on my mind. I enjoy being a guy too!
I have been lucky to have met so many who are transitioning/have transitioned, and I realize I am not exactly the same place as they are. They make me jealous, but I am reminded that I have a strong guy identity too.

I also don't enjoy being the cis-gendered male. ......Screw you, "guys" I don't want to live your life.
"
So.....I shall live on the edge of this fence until something commands me one day to say "OK, this is where I belong".

I do really like being not a cis-gendered male too! It's like confronting society!

Your a person, get used to it. No label required.

You know how on clothes that don't have tags anymore, like Haynes or some underwear...eventually after you wear them long enough the label wears off...what is it then...?

I think I need the label so I can know where I am in a society and fight for respesct!

Much good would come if you began developing a phenomenology of what it means to be gender fluid. I am not, being firmly rooted in the binary, but I completely get being gender fluid. I actually disagree with Reine, I think that being gender fluid is not a choice of how you describe yourself. I think gender fluidity is not only a nurture issue but also a nature issue. It would help if you could start describing it from your perspective, from the vantage point of someone experiencing it.

Really, these are just words we use to describe ourselves and hopefully to better understand ourselves. At times we are obliged to use such terms to describe ourselves to others. But remember that there is no litmus test, no objective measure that will determine if you are bi-gender, gender fluid, gender elastic or gender indifferent. In the end you pick the term that feels and sounds right to you.

I rather like gender elastic and gender indifferent....but I think I just made those up. Feel free to make up your own terms too!

Yeah, you're right :D thanks!

I'm late to this, but there is one thing I'd want to add. While we shouldn't be trapped, our ability to communicate with each other and with people in the future is dependent on other people and future people understanding what we mean. So, when we can, we should try and agree on what these common terms mean. I can't imagine how different my life would be if I didn't have access to mass amounts of books and film on subjects that allow me to see life from all of these other people's perspectives, disregarding aesthetics or the passing of knowledge. So, why make it any harder?

However, yeah, only you can say who you are, although you can choose to try to convey that. Also, the terms are somewhat mutable as the whole topic remains in transition. Some terms are actually a bit conflicted, so one will get into large discussions about what a term means. Sometimes I learn new things as we go. It's actually a bit frustrating, hence my post.

Another complexity related to the discussions over what things means is this: http://freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajo...om-the-future/

The link is a discussion of people "outing" people to themselves before they realize it themselves, and how that's not great. I tend to think that this is part of the difficulty in getting everyone to agree on meaning, since our culture views some things as shameful. Of course, people can also believe that people fit in a box when they don't, in the end, so whatever

Own it's never too late! Thank you! I'll read the link!

"I tend to think that this is part of the difficulty in getting everyone to agree on meaning, since our culture views some things as shameful." THIS! I totally agree!

[Ryan A.]

Hey everybody! It's never late to post here, don't ever think like that :D thank you for all the messages, I read every single one, thank you! And if someone still wants to talk about it, just keep posting, I'll keep reading and I'll reply if I feel the need to do.

About the two spirit thing, it's now something I can't get out of my mind, it's a beautifiul way to feel this energy, I think I'll write a book LOL I'm so inspired right now to create something LOL

[Tracii G]

Hi Ryan how have you been?
I too believe that having two spirits is a good thing I deff have two always have as far back as I can remember.