Debunking: "I like women's clothes"

[Ambergold43]

Ambergold, you make interesting points. You list the problems that women face and deny the "inner female," and go on to say that crossdressing is a way for us to escape the problems that men face. But I'm afraid that while you were listing the negative social implications of being female and the responsibility of power and privilege of being male, you have forgotten the virtues of femininity.

I believe that within each person exists a range of emotions. Men and women each feel these same emotions, but it is culture that determines which of these are "appropriate" to express. The expression of these emotions are generally encouraged to be expressed along binary lines (men = hard and pragmatic & women = "soft" & "nurturing"). This is the foundation for gender, which is essentially just rules for behavior that are culturally dictated for men and women. All we have when we are born is our body, the rest is culturally determined. So I would argue that virtues of femininity aren't real but are culturally constructed ideals.

Women may not (generally) have the physical "power" that males have (an overrated thing) but in their softer frames exists a subtle and mysterious power which is greater and more beautiful than the brutish muscle of a macho man. Femininity involves such things as empathy, nurturing, healing, grace, and all manner of such things which should be regarded as general virtues rather than signs of weakness. Females have as much responsibility as men do. As for social privileges and expectations, that is only a social construction which, while having real implications, has no inherent truth or cosmic validity. The social inferiority of women (which is in decline) has nothing to do with the inherent qualities of femininity, but rather the witless thinking of men through the ages.

Women, as a gender, have neither the power nor the privilege that men do in our society. If they did, there would be no women's movement or feminist movements. Women are not paid as much as men for the same work, their bodies are not respected politically in the same way that men's are... that is to say, their bodies and sexuality are political, and there are many more examples I could list. I am not using the term "power" to imply physical power (There are many women who could kick my butt for sure), I'm talking about social power and privilege, a very real thing.

The inner female may not be present in you, but would you deny the reality of the trans community? Are all transwomen simply looking to divest themselves of male responsibilities? In truth, they take on more hardship than any other man could ever know (that is, those who pursue transition). Gender is not black and white, but a fluid spectrum.

I don't deny the reality of the trans-community, and I don't claim to understand the unimaginable hardships associated with being a transsexual person. However, gender IS a fluid spectrum as you say, so how then can someone be a trans-anything when the line between genders is so blurry to begin with? To me, trans-anything seems to reinforce a binary definition of gender.

I think we associate images and characteristics with "inherent" traits, which leads us to name those feelings that we don't associate with male-ness as female. So yes, I believe that some people may be more comfortable expressing those feminine virtues that you mentioned if they look and feel the part. It's like getting into character for a play - after all, gender is nothing but a performance anyway.