So how about these definitions:
xxxxsexual is about the sex
xxxxgender is about the gender (expression)
xxxxvestite is about the clothes (cross dressing is literally the same thing)
and none of them are exclusive a single person can fit within more than one (serially or in parallel.) some people still have this puritanical side to them and dont like the "sexual" term for that reason, but one should look to the goals of what you want. Using the term "Trans" and leave off the ending can be a compromise.
