I'm taking a break from packing (I leave sunday), and I'm just incredibly sad.

I asked my wife if she'd like me to present as male one last time before I go, so I could spend the evening with her. She said "Yes, I didn't know how to ask you for that." So I changed, and we watched TV together for the evening. (She is going to a friend's to spend the night after work tomorrow - she can't bear to watch me leave.)

At the end of the movie we watched, she pointed out that this was the end of our 20 year long relationship. We both started crying - we both agreed that it had been a good 20 years, and that she doesn't regret it, even though it's incredibly painful now, to separate and divorce. Neither one of us wants to part, but she can't bear me as a woman. She just can't. Hopefully with some separation and time to heal up, we'll be able to at least be friends. We both cried a lot during this conversation.

She told me she feels that she's failing me. I just told her that "we are who we are hon, it's no one's fault," and "I don't want this - I would never have chosen what I'm going through."

I'm crying now, as I write this. What a terrible situation. What'd we do to deserve this?

Out of all the storms we've weathered as a couple over 20 years, this one ended our relationship in 4 months, almost to the day.