Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, mommydearest. Couldn't access the internet last night. Had a chat with my friend and this is the gist of it ...
Your son is probably fixated on something already, be it computers, dinosaurs, Terminator movies, or something else. Divert him back to this fixation in the interim, using the notion of good versus bad choices. Always offer choices.
Net nanny is a good idea, but may encourage him to "break into" the system, if computers are his "thing". Instead, try to find out where he was introduced to these websites. It is unlikely to have been at school, as schools usually have good filtering software. If it was via a friend, again, use the notion of choices to point out that perhaps he should be choosing friends with interests other than these.
Aspergers children tend to have an extremely well-developed sense of right and wrong. Explain to your son what the law has to say about viewing inappropriate material whilst underage. This will discourage him.
My friend thinks that the reason many Aspergers males crossdress is because they find it difficult to form relationships with girls. They just don't "get" girls and don't know how to interact appropriately with them. This is another area where you could teach him what is, and what is not acceptable behaviour. I'm talking things like respect, don't touch inappropriately, definitely no bondage etc. Again, rules!
Most Aspergers people think in pictures, so use images of good behaviour to explain and reinforce correct and appropriate behaviour. Do this often, at least daily, so that it becomes part of his routine.
I will add more if other stuff comes to mind. My friend and I wish you and your family well. It cannot be easy for you.
