I wish to be female in every way , but keep my old fella !!!
I wish to be female in every way , but keep my old fella !!!
No, but at one point I did believe I had legitimate gender dysphoria. Those were some dark times. Internet self-diagnosis is a scary thing, ugh.
I Did think about for awhile but wouldn't because of the hassle and the cost + i love being able to choose from guy mode and girl mode
I hate being a guy. I am not the most attractive (understatement). It would be nice to become a woman and choose how I look (how hot or normal looking).
I have never had any depression or anything. I just want to be a woman. I can't explain it.
Charlotte
I never thought as myself as a full time woman. however I would kill for a size c set of breast!
I wish I was a woman. A beautiful woman like you see on the street or in a magazine. I want to have that body. The soft skin, the delicate features. The pleasant demeanor of a dignified society girl. The free spirit of a tanned, blonde surfer girl. The experience of estrogen-filled teens becoming women. Where clothes, makeup, and other feminine trappings are natural to me, to my body, to my psyche. To look at the sun on a warm summer day as drops of sweat glisten on my svelte figure as I glide casually along the boardwalk. A dream of dreams. But it will never happen. I can never be that girl. Even with SRS and FFS I will never be her. Do I want to "become" a woman? No. But I wish I born one. Alas, I'll never be an astronaut either. But I can dream. Is this folly? Is this an exercise in futility? Probably. But these thoughts exist. I don't know why. I don't think I ever will.
I am TS but for various reasons, some good, some excuses. I won't be transitioning soon. I didn't choose to be this way. I just am. Despite being TS I more often contribute here in the CD section than in the TS forum. In part it's because I feel a bit of a fake. I say I'm TS but for all anyone knows. I'm just fantasising about transitioning.
In any case in practical terms I'm a CD. It's necessary for me in order to cope with my gender dysphoria which is a constant companion. That I think is the measure of whether or not you are TS. It's like chronic pain, you can ignore sometimes but it's there all the time and it can wear you out. Dressing as a woman is like an analgesic, albeit temporary. I am experimenting with permanent under dressing and it helps a bit.
I wish it would go away sometimes but if a Doctor told me he had a miracle pill which would make the dysphoria go away. Would I take it?
The answer is no. Because for better or worse that is the real me. Beside pill or no pill I have no idea how to behave like a man and that wouldn't change!
Simple answer to the original question is "no." So far, reading a LOT of threads in here, I feel like I'm in a very small minority here. The ONLY reason I CD is to pretend I'm a girl for a short couple hours for the sole purpose of sex (wife w/strap, not m4m). Now, for that reason, I have fantasized about completely becoming female, but it would have to be completely temporary. I AM A DUDE. In 99% of my life and like my life that way. Its just that one enjoyment I have that I prefer to play it from the other side, or at least pretend to.
Wishing you are a transsexual is wishing you are a woman..
it's a fantasy...saying you wish you were ts may feel like an attainable way to be a woman..
it's possible that you are using fantasy and repression to avoid dealing with being transsexual ...because if you are really transsexual, your life is going to involve some major suck..
its more about not being a man than anything, and the physical part of it will destroy any fantastical notions you probably have about your appearance...
50%+ chance you will never look like a woman and 100% chance you will never look like the fantasy woman you have in your mind when you think you want to be one..
in any case, its totally ok to wish you are a woman and express it here...
You're not, and even if we are, then most of us don't even bother to sign up here.Originally Posted by Sc0rp10N
I would have when I was 18 if I had known that this wasn't some kind of phase I was going though. But at 66 with wife and kids and grandkids they all know as dad or papa. I'm happy to go back and fro between a man and a woman.
GLENDA
I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN
if the technology was there 50 years ago and I knew more, I would definitely be Geri Danielle as I sit here and type.
I was on HRT and grew great boobs and my skin got softer. but as I aged, i had double knee replacement, back surgery and a pacemaker, I can't even go out anymore, which really ticks me off.
so through therapy I did find out that I'm bi and that works for me. I found a friend and we have a great time together.
kisses,
geri
Thought about SRS as a teen. That thought went away quickly because I want to keep my "pillar and stones" (yes, GoT quote).
I love dressing up as a woman and being feminine, but I am still a guy inside, making me a CD.
This sums up my experience quite well. I identify as gender fluid, some days I wish I was a woman, but other days I'm proud to be a man. I dress to express my current position on the spectrum. Some days I'm more male than female. Other days I'm more female than male. However, I'm always 100% me...transitioning would do me no good.
And yet, here it is again; the presumption that how one transsexual feels, must mean that all transsexuals feel the exact same way, at the exact same point in life. How long is it going to take, before people here realize that we are all just a little (or a lot) different? This is not like having a heart attack, or appendicitis, where there are specific things that must be done within a certain period of time to insure the patient survives. There are plenty of non op transsexuals out there who have lived their entire lives dealing successfully with the knowledge that they weren't going to ever become the sex and gender that they wanted to be. Yes, it's difficult to accept our situation in life, but it's not impossible to live with. I'm sure there are more than a few people here who deal with this situation every day.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 06-10-2014 at 09:56 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I could never go all the way. I've been deeply suppressing my feminine side for years but the masculine in me is also legitimate. Going full TS would simply be reversing the situation. I'd end up suppressing guy mode and would probably get the same dysphoria. If I end up doing anything trans it would probably be a lighter form of HRT to try and balance me out and stay sane.
For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.
Right, but if they've lived their entire lives that way, then they were always TS, correct?
I agree that CDers don't "become" TS. If you believe this, then it implies that the nature of gender identity can change, which then makes it possible to have a reversal the other way through something like aversion therapy?
Same with homosexuals ... they don't "become" gay. They're born that way and there is no amount of aversion therapy that can change this.
Reine
I would argue that gender identity CAN change and I'll give an example. I can count a couple of situations from my own personal experience. For instance, I'll be talking to people who don't know about Adyson. To them I've always been Adam. They will refer to me as "he" and they will think of me as male. Somedays, I'll have a distinct unconscious response to that. "No, I'm a SHE." Other days, if you refer to me as "she" I'll get the same response, "No, I am a HE". Just the other day, I was in a group of crossdressers and transsexuals. One of them referred to me as "he" and she covered her mouth in horror at her "mistake" . That day, I had a mixed identity, I was going for equal parts male and female, and was dressed as such. She made all these efforts to apologize to me, saying how she should have asked for my pronoun, despite my assurance that I didn't care, she was welcome to call me whichever pronoun she preferred. And at the time, I could care less what she called me.
For me, and individuals like me, the term genderfluid remains the same, but what that term means changes from day to day, hour to hour. My gender identity at least is very fluid, and changes all the time.
Anyway, I think that gender identity is incredibly difficult to pin down because its so intimately linked with our sense of self.
TS is just about the last thing I wanted to be but alas here I am. I just got tired of suppressing the need to be who I am whatever that is. All I really know for sure is I need to have a female body, I need the world to react to me as a female, I need to be in relationships as a female, especially intimate relationships. Transition isn't perfect but it's allowed me to keep my sanity and living authentically has removed a lot of BS from my life.
That's what I am looking for, authenticity. We all might be much happier that way, pursuing whatever it is we each need to be fulfilled.
For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.
When I came here it was to be a better crossdresser hoping I could get to a point where I could cope. But I sucked at being a cross dresser, I could not get the fun part. Cross dressing just made me miserable and depressed because I could not really be who I wanted to be. I did not want to transition though, I did not want to think I was transsexual, but I could not keep living the way I was either. It was all messed up!
transitioning you can get to a place where you are true to yourself, and feel at peace with yourself, if you are a transsexual. But the journey to get there can be painfully brutal. When I read the title of this thread I think why in world would anyone wish to be that? The experience of actually transitioning can be very bitter.
Apparently you are gender non-conforming (outside the gender binary). I argue that you always have been and this will not change, no matter how much you fluctuate given that fluctuation is normal for you.
Above, I was referring to the idea that someone who is solidly male-identified does not become solidly female-identified.
Reine
I'm quite similar being bigender and I generally agree with you that I've always been that way, I just didn't want to think about it or acknowledge it. I only recently made this discovery about my identity but that doesn't mean that at 27 I suddenly "decided" to be this way. Rather, I spent months on research and honest self-reflection trying to stop suppressing myself and figure it all out. Bigender was the first term I came across that really seemed to fit and looking all the way back to my childhood it fits in perfectly with the narrative of my life.
We can deny what we are, we can tell ourselves lies, we can refuse to think about it and we can even be mistaken for years at a time but in the end we are what we are. Although I would contend that there are some rare exceptions out there.
For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.
My experiences were largely the same, though I didn't make a conscious effort to not think about stuff, I simply didn't take the time to explore my identity until later.
I'd rather avoid a discussion of terms, but I will say that while gender non-conforming does fit, its not a term I would use to describe myself, because I very much feel that I am a part of the gender binary. While I may fluctuate between male and female, I always have a solid grasp on where I fall within those two terms. If for example, I somedays felt that I was a third or fourth gender entirely, I would be more willing to describe myself as being outside the binary, or gender non conforming.
However, I get what you're saying. I did not simply decide one day that I was going to become gender fluid. It was always there, but I simply wasn't ready to accept it until I was in college.
You may call me Adam, Adyson, or Ady, whichever you prefer.
I am unapologetically me. You can accept me or reject me, but you're never going to change me.
This post (and so many others here) is going to be the inspiration behind Tink's next thought of the week
I mean, wow, womanhood sure sounds nice coming from a male perspective. I actually happen to look a lot like the surfer girl you described, yet I can't remember a time when I got excited about my own body walking a boardwalk, or cared one whit that my skin glistened. I'd be upset I was sweating! lol.
I think the answer to this original question lies in some of the responses here. There's a definite disconnect between what real life is like as a female and what you all imagine it's like. I think the woman inside many here is a man's version. That alone should help you all answer the OP's question??
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