Using magical wishes always backfires. You wish away the crossdressing and your husband gets hit by a truck the next day. No thanks.
I really think it all depends on where the CDer shifts to on the gender spectrum, and how the wife feels about that end-result. I think many many wives are fine with panties. And very few wives are fine with their husband living full time as a woman.
If the changes happen quickly, from panties to full dressing, to going out in public, to radically changing roles during sex... well it's not surprising that many wives panic and run. A lucky CDer gets a slow progression (so his wife has a chance to keep up). An unlucky CDer (or TS) has to move quickly to a place on the gender spectrum that scares the wife and ends the marriage (and may end other relationships as well).
