Quote Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG View Post
. . . From my perspective, the real root of the problem is crossdressing just doesn't mesh well with heterosexual life and what we expected from it. Let's face it - you're throwing a bigger social spanner into a relationship than the alcoholic, cheating, bipolar dude. At least people will sympathise if you marry one of them...AND he looks like a dude! You look like someone our brother might date and that's a head spin most heterosexual women can't overcome. If we wanted to date someone who looked like a woman, wouldn't we just date an actual woman? So what does crossdressing offer us other than sexual confusion and some long, lonely, boring nights?? . . . Compromise isn't always possible either, because the wives are literally compromising on their innate self, as you would be by not dressing as needed
Tink,

While I take your point if the CDing is invading the sex life it is not a good thing for any relationship unless both parties are willing. Specifically, the CDer wants to role play in bed as another woman and the SO does not want this. However, this is not true for all relationships. Since coming out to my wife our heterosexual life has not faltered one iota and it is still as loving as before. Now this could have something to do with fact that there is only one gal in the marital bed (my lovely wife) and one guy (me). I am not sure what you mean by "date someone who looks like a woman". Again if the CDer desires to go out on dates with his SO with him as a woman and she is not willing . . . point taken. However, my wife has seen me dressed on several occasions and we have talked about this "Does she think less of me as a man" and her response was simple "No because the man she married is still there just dressed differently".

It is society which says I should/must/will dress in boxers, jeans and a t-shirt . . . does that make me a man (the way I dress?). No, it is my inner qualities which do that, loving, caring, nurturing, strong, protective, and a whole host of behaviors all people (men and women) can exhibit. Clothing is an exterior expression but it should not be confused with the inner person. A relationship built on external presentation only is one doomed to fail once one party no longer meets the "perfect idea" of the other party. I have had friends leave their wives because the wife gained too much weight. Likewise I have had female friends leave husbands who got portly and began loosing their hair. If the CDer is being a selfish, childish jerk then yes I get your point. But if he is still loving, a good husband and all the things you married . . . are you prepared to throw that away because society says men wear suits not dresses? Not being argumentative here . . . just looking for some knowledge to discuss more so with my wife as this subject fascinates me.

You are right and compromise is not always possible. If that is the case then it is probably time to call an end to the relationship and both parties move on with their respective lives. That is what adults do when faced with very tough choices.

Hugs

Isha