It isn't mainly the lies or secrets that cause our relationship problems

[Lynn Marie]

On reading the subject line of your post, Paula, I was quite prepared to take issue. After reading the rest of your post, I have to agree with you. I don't blame CDs wives and SOs in the least for feeling betrayed, deceived, and deathly afraid of their future married state. I've seen more than one CDer come out of the closet, get out the door, start HRT, and completely destroy their marriage. What on earth did you expect?

[CrossJess]

It must be really difficult if you been married for a while like 10 to 20 years then halfway through that marriage you become a crossdresser, how you tell your wife that must be hard because I don't think she would believe you and probably think you been lying the entire time.

Honesty is always the best policy, if your one that's going to get married then all this stuff should come out before the marriage or if your dating someone then just be open and honest about it all that way your partner can make his or her own mind up for what to do next

[flutterby]

It must be really difficult if you been married for a while like 10 to 20 years then halfway through that marriage you become a crossdresser, how you tell your wife that must be hard because I don't think she would believe you and probably think you been lying the entire time.

Honesty is always the best policy, if your one that's going to get married then all this stuff should come out before the marriage or if your dating someone then just be open and honest about it all that way your partner can make his or her own mind up for what to do next

I could not agree with you more Jess. The only problem is that most of us are so stigmatized by society and the "norms" that we fight the urge to be ourselves. This leads to being farther along in life, and yes sometimes married, before it becomes apparent that we dress cause we were born too. I'm lucky in that my wife is totally in love with Emily, and being her has made our marriage nothing but stronger.

[Momarie]

PaulaQ,

I've been really impressed with your last few threads/posts.

It seems you've really been able to look within yourself and achieve this gut level honesty and clear, objective vision from within.

The depth of empathy and your understanding of your wife's feelings and reactions is very touching.

I think it takes a very tender heart and an acceptance and understanding of your own suffering and reactions to do that.