I need input from other cross dressers...

[Desirae]

I'll be very brief in my remarks because I'm sure many others will chime in on different parts of your post.

From what you wrote, I have the tendency to agree with you that your husband's father's passing is most likely the trigger that started all of this for him. At least brought his own mortality to his forethought. His thoughts of transitioning that he had in his youth were rekindled when he realized life was short. He'll have to explore these feelings on his own with his therapist. For the record, I'm NOT a therapist. This is just my take on it.

Also, even if he does transition, and you can't be in a relationship with him "in that way", as you said, you can still be his friend and support him through it, albeit in a "different way". Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. You'll have to find a way to separate the "intimate" love you feel for him and the "friendship" love I'm sure you, also, feel for him and see if you can give him that friendship love if he does choose to transition.

I'm 22 years his senior. I've had the thoughts of transitioning many times. What keeps me from pursuing it? I'd say my age, mostly. If I were younger today and had all of the information we have today, I honestly don't know if I'd pursue transition. Let's just say I'd "explore" it. I don't think I rise to the level of a "true" transsexual. I don't hate my body and male parts "that much", whatever that means. I'm not saying I completely embrace them, I'm saying I'm not loathe of them as most TS are. I've been CDing since I was a young boy around 4 or 5.

In regard to relationships and sex.....................I can say I've never had a problem with sex. The other thing I need to say is that I'm a bit different, possibly, than some others on here. When I've been in relationships, and absolutely in love, my CDing was curtailed completely. I never told any of my former partners about my CDing. At the end of my relationship with my ex, as I fell out of love with her, I started CDing again. It's funny how that works. So, since I never told any of my prior sexual partners about my CDing, I never brought that side of me to the bedroom and never felt the need to. Maybe my GD (gender dysphoria) doesn't rise to the level of your husband's. Sex with a woman has always been something I desired. I've never had a question about it.

All I can say is the cliche' of hang in there and see where it goes and possibly be there for him if you can. If he's truly TS and this is "the time", from all of my extensive reading on here and the Internet, there's really nothing you'll be able to do to affect it. You'll just have to roll with it, possibly get some help for yourself if you need it, and be as supportive of your husband as you can. Good luck.

PS: Don't forget about asking the other GG (genetic girls) on here their advice, as they have already been through, or are going through, what you are now.

And I also wanted to add that I do believe that having overwhelming events in ones life and intense thoughts racing around in one's mind can INDEED affect a person's libido. That part of equation might be nothing more than that.