Trouble and time. Absolutely!
Anne, if only we could have saved you 10% of your troubles and led you to greener pastures 2 months earlier! Some of us clearly failed.
I missed the optimization discussion. Someone must have failed with me, too.
But if that's a little over the top, there a serious point to be had. To wit, NOTHING can shorten the process in any given case. The little prompts, advice, experiential anecdotes - all of it - are support props, and best delivered only as someone is ready for them besides. Suggestions as to what to expect and what to do, do little to nothing in shortening what a person must go through. To suggest otherwise is to make it an intellectual exercise.
Gabbi is a case in point. She can't NOT fight any more than I could or you (Anne) could.
