Can we truly stop? (All responses welcomed)

[Marcelle]

What a great topic, Isha, its one that I have been thinking a lot of lately.

Addictions.

Addictions don't have to be "self destructive" to be an addiction and feeling calm and happy it what causes all addictions. To have an addiction all one has to do is to engage in a behavior that causes certain brain receptors to receive neural chemicals that it really, really likes. These receptors the build up a tolerance for the chemical which means it needs more and more until it can't take any more. But if the receptors stop receiving the chemical it starts to go trough withdrawal causing a negative feedback to the body. Addictions that come from something internal like the self generated feelings from CDing are harder to recognize and are harder to break then an external substance like alcohol . . . I believe it is possible to quit CDing with the right motivation to a certain extent. Just like a recovering alcoholic might have stopped drinking the temptation to go back will always remain.

Hi RD,

I cannot deny that neurochemicals which stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain (i.e., dopamine) may be involved as there are no studies to prove either yes or no. However, if this was an addiction of sorts you would have to have a cause (dressing) and effect (pleasure) to stimulate the neurochemicals across the synapses . . . so a prima facia case could be made that if dressing was purely for sexual pleasure then dopamine levels would rise and possibly lead to tolerance thresholds rising (hence more requirement to dress to get aroused). However, this reasoning does not account for those of use who dress because it is part of who we are. Dressing is not sexual for me, it does not arouse me, I definitely don't feel sexy when dressed . . . I just feel like me. I dress because it helps me to express who I am (at least that part of me) to world the same as I dress in guy clothes to express that part of me.

Regarding the cycle you mentioned you likened a CDer who can't dress for a period of time to withdrawal symptoms seen in addicts. Again, if the pleasure centers are being activated it is plausible. However for many (myself included) CDing is integral to who I am. Not being able to express it by supressing (quitting cold turkey sort of speak) would not cause withdrawal symptoms but pure emotional distress which is a different beast. My first experience fully dressed was at 17 years old, I did it once, enjoyed it and never did it again . . . I was ashamed, horrified, ecstatic, pleased and distraught all in one fell swoop. I was new to the military and there was no way I was going to be one of those weirdoes who dresses in women's clothing. So I put it away for 32 years. I wasn't addicted to it as addiction takes time to build up those chemical dependencies. I merely supressed an integral part of my psyche. I survived by hook or by crook but in the end it caught up with me and sent me to a very dark emotional place. This was not addiction, it was emotional well being. If I was to quit now, I would most likely return to a state of emotional upheaval. Now I can stop dressing for a time not because I can beat it but because I have accepted who I am and even though I can't dress at that time, I know that when I can, I will because it is part of me.

But also , from what I read in your reply, was you would not have to find the need to compensate the need to express femininity ( because it's not sexual for you ) ..Question is why would that be any different once rescued? . . . Did you mean stop being a T.G.?

Hi Lucy,

Similar to my response above I may be able to stop dressing for the pragmatic reason of "I can't" but then again I would not stop denying who I am and as such I would not be denying that Isha is an integral part of my psyche. So the Island is not a cure but a barrier to my ability to express who I am. Once rescued, then I would be free again to express who I am.

Although I am not a label gal, I don't differentiate between TG and CD as most agree that CD is part of the TG spectrum.

Hugs

Isha