See, that's just it. There's nothing wrong with either him or her. It's a simple matter of what we're attracted to, and you can't change that. You can learn to accept stuff, but what's bothering most women about us is that it's a sexual turn off for them to observe a man behaving/dressing as a female (and once they've seen it, often they can't get it out of their heads). And in most cases, they didn't find out about it until after they were married to us. So they feel we cheated them out of having the normal masculine male husband that they worked so hard to 'catch', and are now stuck with something less than what they bargained for. So she gets three emotions at the same time; disappointment, sadness, and anger.Originally Posted by Annaliese
I don't know the answer; my own marriage fell apart from my wife discovering that I was a crossdresser. We had been going to therapy, sort of making some progress or at least not getting further apart, until my wife started going to support groups that fed her all kinds of nightmare ideas about me being gay or eventually transitioning to TS. Once those other women got it into her mind, nothing I could do would change how she felt, she just wanted out.
My only suggestion would be to offer some consolation to her of some sort; take her out more, take her dancing if she likes that and if you don't know how then take her to dancing school. Give her more reasons to want you again; take a class on massage, and give her a massage OFTEN. When you leave the house, kiss her, and linger a bit, hug her and hold her close for at least a minute or so to make her feel that you'll really miss her, and do this every time you go to work or out with the boys. Same when you come home; treat her like you haven't seen her for a year. Once a week, bring her flowers or candy on the way home from work. Remember little things she mentions that she likes, and get them for her (excuse yourself if necessary to write it down in your phone notes when you're out shopping). In short, do everything you can to make her life wonderful. It doesn't really take that much. Vacuum the house for her. Takes all of maybe 15 minutes once a week, but it will make a tremendous impact. Going to the kitchen for a beer? Wash whatever's in the sink. Oh, buy a heated toilet seat or a japanese toilet with all the toys. Do the laundry. When she's cold, don't give her a blanket, give her yourself and a blanket. Treat her like a princess. Let her know how much you care.
It might seem like a lot of work. But it's worth a shot. Because the only other option is your right hand for the rest of your life.
