Not trans? Huh? I don't get it.

[Jenniferathome]

...One question still bugs me though - if you identify as totally male, how do you explain that this identity is not subverted when you exhibit publicly as a female? As others have noted, and you yourself admit, you put a great deal of effort into looking as feminine as possible and yet you maintain that the reason you choose to express as a female is nothing to do with gender, but you must also admit that being a 'dude in a dress' as a choice of pastime is choosing a hugely stigmatised and potentially damaging way of simply... doing fancy dress...? If you specifically had no gender need to reflect feminine, wouldn't you just go out wearing a cowboy outfit or biker gear...? Even something that might be non-conformant but reinforced your 100% male identity...?

It just seems really unusual...

Katey, I see why you see this as incongruous. I like your your last examples, cowboys and bikers. As I have noted many times, my genetic alteration is for cross dressing, not biker dressing;-) Now, when I am dressed, I am still male me. I like all the same things as when I am in pure male mode. No change whatsoever...except for the way I look. As to why the effort, I am the type of person who when doing anything, goes all in. I started riding bikes and now I race. I was tennis player when I was younger. Ranked nationally in college. I don't do anything half assed, so that is part of the explanation. The other is that i do not want to be embarrassed when out and I don;t want to disturb the "wa" or harmony of the group. So the more I blend in, the better off I am in both circumstances. Regarding this comment, "...but you must also admit that being a 'dude in a dress' as a choice of pastime is choosing a hugely stigmatised..." would be correct if I chose it but I do not choose. It is in me. I do not know that I have a "gender need" to be expressed. And for that reason I have no need to express my masculinity and more than just living. Perhaps for me it is purely visual, I never really thought about it too much. I don't question my gender identity any more than I question why I am right handed. It just is. I often wonder if I am unique or if others are trying so hard to explain this to themselves that they fall into gender explanations because it makes sense but is it real? I don't know. I'll stick with I am unique. Take care,

... I even had therapy with a psychologist whose specialty was crossdressing and she said in all her thousands of patients (most dragged to her by their wives) only a handful felt they had gender dysphoria. Most we're just men who identified as men but liked to present on occasion as a woman. ...

Great statistic Tink! Yeah, I suspect this is right. The silent majority as I have often referred to it.

I was telling my wife the other day how frustrating this forum can be at times and she asked why I don't just drop out. I easily managed an answer: I'm here to help a few and to shout down the noise. Purely my self-appointed task, much to the consternation of many, I'd bet. Perhaps in this area, we are quite similar;-)
take care,