For me, dressing secret reached a point where I had to tell my wife. I couldn't keep that secret any longer. Since that time, about 4 years now, I go out when I like, go out with her when we can, and don't feel "alone" in this any longer. You do not have to be alone. There are groups all over the nation who can help. Where are you? Have you looked into
http://www.tri-ess.org?