Hi Pamela,
This comes up a lot and some here equate it to a woman's "sixth sense" which in and of itself seems a bit misogynistic in that men have been saying that for years "the little woman just knows, nudge, nudge, wink, wink". To be honest, the reason why some wives will suspect and others will not will depend on how well the CDer covers their tracks. Being secretive or acting all strange to the point drawing suspicion to yourself will get you noticed. Will your wife think you are CDer? Not likely but as Jennifer stated they are definitely going to thing something is up and that will bring you under the microscope. Add to this wearing your wife's clothing, improperly cleaned up make-up residual or poorly hidden stash of femme items and you will get busted quicker than anything.
Some people are extremely good at compartmentalizing parts of their lives, go through great lengths to ensure they are not discovered, do their thing and then go on being who they are with no change in personality. It is quite plausible that CDers such as this will go on and their wives will never know. Will they get caught? I suppose it is probable but then again they may never get caught. All this to say, yes, I think some wives will find out and may choose to ignore it so long as they don't see it or hear about it . . . kind of a self imposed DADT. However I also believe others never will.
Hugs
Isha
