My boyfriend won't tell me the truth

[Tammy494]

Thank you everybody for your responses again, I never imagined my post getting so many responses. It truly amazes me every day when I come back here to see new replies. There's been SO many different opinions and view points but at this point in the thread, I really do feel like I've gathered what I need to move forward here. I will not necessarily be giving an "ultimatum" because I now understand that it's not exactly the right approach even though I thought it was. I actually did write a letter when I found the box of clothes a few months ago, I said that I would be here for him no matter what, and that I accept him for who he is. It was more lengthy and detailed than that, but that's the main point I was making. I wrote how much I loved him and how I just want honesty no matter what the truth is and I'll accept it. However I feel that the reason he didn't open up then was because that was only two weeks after I initially discovered the pictures. And I left the note with the box of clothes on the bed and went home and waited for him to text me when he got home. When he got home and found it he texted me just assuming we were done and started attacking me and making me feel bad saying "4 years down the drain". But then after, THE SAME NIGHT through text is when he told me about his inner turmoil that I never had a clue about. Told me how he's been depressed for years and has anxiety and a whole bunch of other things. He opened up to me about all of it for a good hour or two. To which I was trying to be comforting and listen. But in the end of that conversation he shut back down, saying "I'm glad I told you because you're the only one who's been around me this long but it just doesn't change anything. It doesn't make it better." And he stopped texting. The next day when I saw him in person I didn't wanna touch a fresh wound so I didn't bring up any of the things he said. I knew he wouldn't wanna re-enter that conversation. So I just tried to have a calm, relaxed night with him. Maybe that's where I went wrong, idk.
Anyway, I'm thinking of writing a letter again because I really want him to hear/read everything I have to say. I'm better with my words in writing anyway. It will be a gently written letter, but maybe that will be a better approach. And as one of you mentioned, maybe after I give him the letter I will say that when is ready to talk about what I have written to come to me.. Idk.
Sometimes miss, what you said makes a lot of sense. Especially because he has a lot of growing up to do.
I'm trying to plan around this maybe.
Anyway, I'm greatfull for all of you. You really have no idea. I wish I could send you all gifts to show my love and appreciation.

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Also to Reine, I will be looking into the books that you've mentioned. I truly value your advice. I value many others here as well, and they all seem to speak very highly of you. Thank you for being a part of this thread and for being such an honest, helpful and caring person.
everybody here has been so deeply involved in this thread and I've learned so much. It only makes me want to learn more. You are all full of wisdom and I hope all of you are able to live your lives to the fullest.