Sorry but that's not an illusion, it's a fact. We humans have choices in every decision we make. Whether repressing a decision you want to make because of external social factors -family, work, environment, you name it- may be terrible (though not necessarily so), it's always a possibility and does not have to end in your "destruction". I understand you went through really bad times, and I respect your drive to make others consider the issue seriously. But every one of us is a universe in itself. There are no "one size fits all" rules.