If she chooses to not go to counseling then that's her choice. You have to be you, and you can't control how she reacts. However, you can control how you react. So always be open and honest with her.
Near the end of my marriage, as it was collapsing, I chose to take some personal development courses and attend one on one counseling sessions. She refused. I learned about myself, what I could control, what it would take to make me happy. It's not for everybody, but it worked for me. It was my experience that when I worked on myself, got myself healthy (mentally & physically), then everything else fell into place. I changed, the people around me didn't, but I was better equipped to deal with them after. It's something to consider.
