But my genetic gender is who I am too. I never said I wasn't. I'm perfectly happy being in drab guy mode too. I've had no identity issues with it and still don't. I guess this alter ego is to get away from things for a while. To be someone else. It has a strange calming effect on me I can't explain why. Maybe it's the feel of the softer fabrics, and feeling closer to femininity as I lacked female company for much of my life. Nothing really to do with wanting to change my genetics.
As I said before this isn't "a one size fits all" thing. Not every CD'er wants to change their genetic gender. I will only tell her if I find she will be understanding and accepting, otherwise I won't tell her and I'll give it up. Doing so isn't being in denial, it's just unselfish acceptance of a situation in consideration for her. As I said I've had no desire to change gender for real. I'm still very much quite emotionally attached to my meat and two veg, and women.