First you know your wife and your relationship.
BUT
As a GG involved here and at a local GG group the thing I hear most is they can not get over feeling being lied to or betrayed and that is for many the hardest thing to get over.
So since you said in another post your foot is on the gas petal in regards to the crossdressing. It seems ( to me) from your posts this is a big part of your life/ thoughts now.
Guess you have to sort this out if it's pink fog and you go back to the things she knows about or this is you now.
I personally would be livid and feel left out of a big part of my partners life.
