Marina, I am so very sorry to hear of the hurtful things that have happened during your long marriage. I have been cheated on and found out about it in a surprising way similarly to you. I an so sorry. I completely understand the hurt and pain that can come from being deceived, having your trust abused and mistreated from the one you trusted the most.
I think though that you need to slow things down with the new woman in your life. If I'm reading your post correctly it was just about a month to six weeks ago that you were still hopeful that you would get back together with your wife. And it has only been a week since you went on your first date with the new woman in your life.
Think about what that sounds like. If you read about one of sisters here saying she just got out of a tumultuous marriage of 24 yrs, had been separated for four months, had still been holding out hope to reconcile just four to six weeks ago and went on a first date a little more than a week ago and is saying love is in the air... what would your advice be.
Sweetie, cool the engines. Slow things down. Continue to talk to a therapist and wait to tell this new woman until a solid foundation for a relationship has been set.
Wishing you all the best,
Sayyidah
