Thank you for all your good advise as well as the warm feelings you give me. It is important to me. Sometimes, it is difficult to express your self in another language, and sometimes it is difficult to understand. I realized that I don't think this new woman is "funny", I suppose she is "fun" ? And i didn't quite get the metaphore about putting gas in the car.
Well that aside, the thing with my marriage is that we decided already in november that I should move out. Last time we had sex was in august. So even though it took a couple of months to find a house I wanted to buy, my process didn't start when i found out about my wife cheating on me. My fear of being alone and also concern for my children made me want to stay in this unhealthy marriage. That don't in any way mean she didn't hurt med deeply, down to the bone when I found out.
So about telling or not telling. I think maybe the best is to wait a bit so I can see where this relationship is going. But that I have to let her in on my secret sooner or later. Like someone said, you will not present her to your mother, sisters and brothers at this point. But I know we have no future if she decpises me for who I am. But even if i actually do think it is unfair, I will keep it to myself if she don't like it.
I haven't dressed since before the first time we met. But yesterday, oh how much I yearned to put on a dress, nylons and some high heels.
PS. I have always thought that being cheeted on by your since long time wife would be the ultimate blow, humiliation and the worst thing someone can do to another person. I wondered how i would react. Would I actually use violence? Would I beat her up? To tell you the truth, even though I am not in any way a violent man, I wasn't sure. But that was in theory when I never expected it to happen to me. Now I know that I didn't. What happened was that I was in a state of chock. My sight were blurry. I had a big trouble taking it in. I cried so much. But I now know I will never be violent to woman, no matter what. That is at least something I have learned about myself.
