Telling your SO - another perspective

[sometimes_miss]

If a young CDer would ask my opinion on telling, I would always say yes. We better serve ourselves from telling. I mean, in the end, typically you get to dress MORE often than before, as now there is not the dreaded sneaking around.

Well, that part is generally true. I certainly did get to dress a whole lot more after the divorce!
But again, it came down to telling all about it, or hoping for some semblence of a normal life. It's pretty clear that there are not a whole lot of women out there hoping to find a crossdresser for a husband.

Maybe those who are struggling whether or not to tell should trust there gut feel rather than looking for the answer on this forum.

The problem is that our gut can be just as stuck in the pink fog as the rest of us. I, too, was so sure that everything would work out fine, that the crossdressing was way overcome by all the good things that I was. But I couldn't have been more wrong. So much for a gut feeling.

Another thing. While your wife may feel that if she had known sooner, she may not have stayed with you, I bet she doesn't regret it, particularly as she wouldn't have had the children she does now. Hers and your children wouldn't exist without you! I don't think many women (probably none) would give up their children for another set of hypothetical children that didn't have a father who crossed-dressed.

It has been said that hindsight is 20/20 vision. That said, it's impossible to predict the future; there are so many variables. While she perhaps wouldn't give up the children and life that she already has, there are plenty of other women who didn't wind up with those assets who would look back and gladly change how their life might have gone without a crossdressing husband.