Retiring from CD'ing

[Leslie Langford]

I tend to agree with the other posters here who are skeptical about both fellow forum member dolovewell (and the author of the blog in question) and her (his?) ability to follow through with both their assertions and intentions to quit crossdressing for good. After all, the blogger is only 27 years old, and hasn't yet encountered all of the vicissitudes and life experiences that most other members here have - some good, some bad - but all invariably educational and humbling. And the one fundamental fact that has been overlooked here is that we do not choose the desire to crossdress (or to be transgender, for that matter) - it chooses us. And this desire is a harsh and unforgiving mistress whose control over us we can only manage by coming to terms with it and aiming for a peaceful co-existence with her, rather than assuming that we can ever banish her for good.

The blogger's statements sound eerily familiar to those often uttered by an alcoholic who claims to have finally "seen the light", has decided to swear off drinking once and for all, and knows with absolute certainty that he or she alone - unlike untold millions of others with the same problem - can lick this addiction (compulsion) all by themselves and through sheer willpower alone. Yes, all alone, because they are different, smarter, and better than all the others who have gone before them. Right!...and that's why organizations such as AA and Al-Anon exist...because, after all, everyone can turn their lives around all by themselves if they so desire just by applying the necessary grit and determination - NOT!

Retiring from crossdressing for good at age 27? Really? After all the work that has been put into it so far to perfect their femme look? Being able to switch off that desire to crossdress just as easily as flipping a light switch and with no regrets or withdrawal symptoms? This is the final word on the subject, and not just one in a long line of well-intentioned purge cycles that are doomed to continue until one finally acknowledges that while the desire to crossdress may be dormant or can be supressed for a while, it will invariably come back with a vengeance at some future time when personal situations change? I think not.

On one level, I commend the blogger for still being full of the naiveté and "p*ss and vinegar" optimism and resoluteness of youth that tells them that the world is their oyster and that anything is possible if one simply puts their mind to it. I hate to burst this bubble, but once life experiences pile up, we "old-timers" can attest to the fact that things can sometimes turn out very differently than expected despite our best efforts, and to our chagrin we find out the hard way that very often, reality bites as the saying goes. And so, one by one, we shed our illusions and pre-conceived ideas and learn to go with the flow.

The blogger is going through a momentary life crisis and sees their crossdressing as a distraction (and an unnecessary expense) that threatens their ability to stay focused on the real challenge at hand right now i.e. overcoming a gut-wrenching life change and finding new employment. No doubt, sooner or later they will get their life back on track, and like the others here, I'm willing to wager that once the good times return, so will the desire to crossdress - and if for no other reason but that it feels just so darn good - and right.

I hope that dolovewell doesn't go closing their account here just yet. We'll keep the porch light on for them so that they can find their way back here once things settle down and they decide to pick up where they left off...