Retiring from CD'ing

[ReineD]

The final blog post was fantastic example of a trip down de river Nile. From someone who around a month ago mentioned they were likely in denial about being TS.

Wondering if one is TS is common among CDers, when they're going through a pink fog stage (for lack of a better term). It has happened to my SO and a friend's husband who also lives in my town. It has happened to other CDers I've gotten to know well enough for them to share this. The pull of the CDing can indeed be so powerful as to intensely want to be female. But, the difference between a CDer who feels this way and a TS, is it's cyclical for the CDer, when other life priorities bubble back up to the surface. And for my SO and my friend's husband (both approaching 60), things just got old after a while as it became more difficult to achieve a certain mind's eye look.

[Nikki.]

Wondering if one is TS is common among CDers, when they're going through a pink fog stage (for lack of a better term). It has happened to my SO and a friend's husband who also lives in my town. It has happened to other CDers I've gotten to know well enough for them to share this. The pull of the CDing can indeed be so powerful as to intensely want to be female. But, the difference between a CDer who feels this way and a TS, is it's cyclical for the CDer, when other life priorities bubble back up to the surface. And for my SO and my friend's husband (both approaching 60), things just got old after a while as it became more difficult to achieve a certain mind's eye look.

Wondering if one is a CDer is common for some of the TS' I've come to know and read about on the internets. Sometimes they feel very poorly and believe they must transition. Other times not as much and question why they are doing such things. Eventually as they age they realize CDing isn't enough and they are really the opposite gender.

See what I did there ?

[ReineD]

Wondering if one is a CDer is common for some of the TS' I've come to know and read about on the internets.

Yes, this happens too. Some of our TS members have said that they used to think they were CDers. But the difference is, (as mentioned earlier), it doesn't scale back for a TS, as is evidenced by the fact that they end up transitioning. But, it does for a CDer (i.e. the blogger) because different life priorities emerge occasionally. The point is, if someone is a woman born in a male body, the female identity is not something that ebbs and flows. It is always there, even if it takes awhile to realize it.

But why did you bring up being TS in your post that I quoted. Isn't this a thread about a CDer whose life priorities right now are such that he feels it is best to move on?

[Robert]

I wonder if the blogger is just trying to find some balance. Forgoing other pleasurable activities in favour of just one is quite unbalanced, and I would say that about both bodybuilding and CDing.

I was a hard core bodybuilder back in the day, and it definitely had a detrimental impact on the relationship I had with my then wife. Special diets, three hour gym sessions, regulated rest days, and etc are hard for other people to cope with. And, if you do it enough you end up looking quite weird.

I never got that hardcore into CDing, but I can see how it could happen. An all over tan, full body shaving, spray tans, lycra briefs, and constant posing in front of a mirror or camera. Come on. They're part of the same thing. Whatever that is.

Both are incredibly individualistic and selfish.

[Nikki.]

But why did you bring up being TS in your post that I quoted. Isn't this a thread about a CDer whose life priorities right now are such that he feels it is best to move on?

It was one of a few things I brought up in my post. I brought that up because DLW himself mentioned in a thread here that he was probably in denial about being TS. Which to me would be a sign that it's fairly unlikely his battle to free of all things transiness will be victorious.

Of the various ideas I mentioned, why did you choose to focus on the TS related one?

[Krisi]

............... Isn't this a thread about a CDer whose life priorities right now are such that he feels it is best to move on?

Of course it is. It's about a crossdresser, not a transsexual.

[MissTee]

I feel this blogger's farewell post is a dead on example of the conflict we all have faced in dealing with our special calling. "I am not this, I will leave it behind, etc.". Gosh, if I had a thousand bucks for every "I am/no I'm not" moment I've had I would be very wealthy. Best of luck to him on his journey - wherever it takes him.

[Leslie Langford]

Right on, Miss Tee - referring to our needs as a "special calling" is probably one of the better ways that I have seen it described because that definition resonates on so many levels. It's a need, a compulsion, an addiction, a calling...however one wants to describe it, but the net result is the same - it's part of us, it won't let go of us, and it drives us to do what we do.

Everyone has their own particular "hot" button that defines and drives them - politicians and entertainers who crave the attention they get, executives and leaders of organizations who need the adrenalin rush of power, environmentalists and members of the clergy whose self-appointed mission is to save the world from itself, crossdressers who need to experience their "second life" first hand etc., etc.

Look at all the aging rock stars from the 1960's and upwards who just can't let it go, retire to a life of golf, and enjoy their millions. They just need to do what they do and keep on performing, no matter how pathetic they may look at some point.

[irene9999]

I've felt like this blogger before, at times I've felt like I was done with this for one reason or another. Some of the reasons he mentions make no sense to me, like working out or not being wealthy, haven't stopped me from dressing. Anyway, to each his own but I'd be surprised if he doesn't return to this "hobby" at some point in his life, especially since he's relatively young

[Krisi]

............................ It's a need, a compulsion, an addiction, a calling...however one wants to describe it, but the net result is the same - it's part of us, it won't let go of us, and it drives us to do what we do. ..........................

It may be for some people but it is not for others. I often see this or similar posts and I wonder if people crossdressers post this sort of thing just to convince themselves that it's OK to crossdress because "nobody can quit".

As I posted above, people who have quit crossdressing don't typically participate in crossdressing forums so judging based on crossdressing forum members is invalid. Look at how many people have joined this forum over the years and how many are active posters. Did the rest of them die? Or maybe they just lost interest in crossdressing and took up golf or fishing instead.

I know that in my lifetime I have been very interested and involved with many different hobbies but eventually found new interests and drifted away from the old ones. I'll bet most people are pretty much the same.

If anyone feels they are "addicted" to crossdressing, they have a problem and should seek help.