Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
I find it interesting that TG people use the "you don't mind gays, why do you mind what I do?" argument and then they disassociate from the L&G community at every point ("Hey, I'm not gay!").
Yep.

You left something out she "found" (people here will say you wanted to be caught).
Oh I'm damn sure she subconsciously wanted to be caught:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...nto-the-closet

So, how do you think she feels? You didn't trust her. That hurts. You didn't give the option to discuss it. That hurts. Oh, by the way...are you gay? She doesn't know. You say "No, I am not gay." but she thinks "wait a minute, you didn't tell me about your dressing, how do I know you're being honest now?" Do you want to be a woman...because you see, she thinks you are a little "fem" so...? This is why I always promote being preemptive. You are on the defensive now. You are having to react.
Which is why I said to Judy, EIGHT months ago:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post3928609

You need to be open and honest...starting now
Judy has shown time again that she doesn't understand the need for that, she's been here a year and has learned diddly squat from our mistakes of the past.

Quote Originally Posted by Laurana View Post
Again?

Isn't this the 3rd or 4th time this has happened to you in a year?
Oh, you remembered the passive aggressive telling-without-telling as well? I'm glad someone else did.

Quote Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing View Post
"Isn't this the 3rd or 4th time this has happened to you in a year?"

I tried to tell her in January which didn't go well. This is the first time she found a real piece of evidence!

I feel so bad for hurting her!
But you didn't feel bad enough to tell her directly when we TOLD you to do so EIGHT MONTHS AGO! No, you have to beat around the bush and be passive-aggressive and not deal with it directly like an adult. And now you're dealing with the fallout of NOT doing that.

Be direct, be honest. Tell her everything. What you do, how long you've been doing it, your feelings about it. Everything. Have a freaking adult conversation about it.

Veronica