Quote Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing View Post

I know this has got to be very tuff for her. I did hate that I had such a big secret.
Size 13s I understand
It's interesting in a way that her brother is Gay and married and we have Gay friends but she says guys in dresses are creepy.
Apples and oranges. At least to the lay community. I find it interesting that TG people use the "you don't mind gays, why do you mind what I do?" argument and then they disassociate from the L&G community at every point ("Hey, I'm not gay!"). So, at this point, your wife is confused and upset because you kept a secret. You left something out she "found" (people here will say you wanted to be caught). So, how do you think she feels? You didn't trust her. That hurts. You didn't give the option to discuss it. That hurts. Oh, by the way...are you gay? She doesn't know. You say "No, I am not gay." but she thinks "wait a minute, you didn't tell me about your dressing, how do I know you're being honest now?" Do you want to be a woman...because you see, she thinks you are a little "fem" so...? This is why I always promote being preemptive. You are on the defensive now. You are having to react. But that's water under the bridge.

I blame it on that in a lot of movies that the serial killers dabble in cross-dressing. Especially "Silence of the Lamb"
Yep. and as long as the TG community doesn't stand up to that stereotype, you will always be. Also Psycho. Or you could be a clown like Mrs Doubtfire...or Flip Wilson. Or you could be a sexual predator. All things that we have to fight like other minorities had to fight. But you have to be out in the public eye to do that...sorta like the Gays did.

I was told I was the ugliest woman in the world by my MIL when I came out to her. It hurt, but I responded that I wasn't (actually there was something there about looking in a mirror...). It's a natural thing when someone is shocked or cornered to lash out with something they think will hurt you. Beauty is what beauty does, right?

And your marriage is a lie? Bet she is thinking the same thing right now. You have a chance to save it. You need to be open and honest...starting now