Karine,
I don't think many of us see ourselves as others do . To me I just did what society expected , after school found a job, had a few girlfriends and then finally got married. I was fairly young but still took on a mortgage to build a family home, all the time CDing was in the background but I just hid it behind doing the right things as a male. Never really considered myself macho or alpha, I just did my own thing and worked hard to provide for a young family and building up my photography business. My wife didn't have a clue about my dressing till I finally couldn't stand the pressure of using my male perspective to cover up my dressing needs. She had never seen me cry at all till that point but I sobbed my heart out , it felt like a millstone lifted off my shoulders. For a while she was OK about it but the DADT wall went up and I dropped to a very low ebb with feelings of being unloved and rejected to the point where I nearly ended my life . I guess at that point my life had changed the man she thought she'd married had changed, I struggled on for another twenty years till now still trying to be the man she married and a father to our children but they all know now there is something different about me , there is a need to be seen and accepted as a woman, my wife doesn't want to see that side of me but she knows it's not going away. They all also know that I fully accept that and no longer care who knows about Teresa, she is part of me and I'm no longer ashamed to admit that side of me exists.
It's not an act for me so my personality is exactly the same in either mode , I still do the male things when required but enjoy the more feminine side dressing brings .
