Wen ,
Sorry but but I hope that comment is from your personal experience ?
Why do so many of us tear ourselves apart, we have to get over thoughts like being selfish, greedy, self centered and narcissistic , most therapists have to work hard to get that out of our heads because they are irrelevant and destructive thoughts, otherwise most of us wouldn't function as human beings .
There is very little we can do with what is locked in our brains, we have to learn to live with our needs and beating ourselves up and allowing others to use those description is no help at all.
Personally I have been a good husband and father, trying so hard to provide for them all and give them the best, there comes a point when we have to accept there is a side of us that has needs , it's hard enough coming to terms with them without damming ourselves with so many destructive labels.
I do agree with you on the lies and deceit . My father was an overpowering bully , we came to blows once which wasn't good , him being about 280 lbs and me about 150 lbs, but of the many things he called me at the time deceit was one of them , my answer at the time was , " You made me like that !"
I still don't like that feeling now over my dressing but again the DADT has made me like that, it's not a good for someone to come back to that through another persons actions ! I choose not to beat myself up over it and call it a double life , my wife said that to me without me prompting her.
Rogina is basically right, we have rights as well, finding how to exercise them is the real problem .
