Finding a mate is complicated at best- and at 67 and 32 years of marriage I feel very confident to say that loving the person you are with and being yourself fully are the twin pillars of enjoying life, and we only get one go around. I am also very confident that thoughtfully arranged marriages have just as much chance of succeeding well as romantic discoveries out on the town or reasonable choices made at church.
We are not in danger of getting killed any more, most places, and in most places people understand gender variance. Therefore it is better to own your crossdressing, and focus on knowing who you are first with respect to crossdressing and everything else about you, and then being upfront about it all in the mate search.
Finding a mate is like hitchhiking- you may wait a long time but the ride is coming!
And in the meantime, even in the worse case, there are plenty of ways to love people you are with without getting married, and everyone who is out finds that people for the most part are fine with us, and we can have normal platonic love relationships. That is better than imprisonment in a marriage.You do not want to feel imprisoned by marriage. Anyone who is can attest to that.
Part of our problem is that we have romantic notions of being sexually attractive as crossdressers, and that is a very low % option, since we need others who have similarly mixed gender signal wiring.
But if we consider ourselves like any other outliers we have to simply admit we are just another variant human minority, and we will experience the same trouble [or is it really trouble?] with that as any other minority.
Not feeling sorry for ourselves is essential. Haven't we noticed that we are attracted to any beaming person, even if they are x minority?
