First, don't do anything rash. Your GID has been going on for nearly a lifetime, so that part isn't anything new. You've just got a whole lot of other stuff going on now at the same time. And wow, what a predicament. But careful, you're not the only one with a severe problem here; is sure sounds like everyone in your household is on the verge of falling apart. Your wife certainly; pretty much every mom would do anything for her children, and seeing two adult children of hers failing in their lives big time has to be tearing her apart. Of course she wants to help them, but obviously has no idea what to do any more than you do. And those kids? They're in a world of hurt, too. Their generation grew up in an era when dreams were routinely shattered, companies closing, the job crunch making it harder than ever to get by. It sounds like you are the only thing holding everyone together at this point, and that stress definitley is riding heavy on your shoulders, so of course your capacity to hold back the desire to crossdress is going to be at perhaps an all time low. Does that mean you really want to be a woman? Who knows. But the fact that the desire waned so much for that ten year period while you were married strongly suggests that, well, maybe you don't; that this is just a situational crisis that is just overwhelming your abilities to cope. And as men, we're supposed to never complain, and be able to cope with everything and remain the stoic, strong, silent one that always keeps it all going.
But you need help, especially someone to talk to about all this, if just to vent all your frustrations to. Therapists are usually great for this, if only for that much help, alone. I strongly urge you to look into this, if your therapist isn't helping, look for another. There are plenty out there.
Just keep it together, and take one day at a time. Find another, outside pasttime of sorts (and I don't mean crossdressing, this is not a hobby), some sort of a hobby or something, that will get you away from that oh-so-stressfull environment that your house is.
DON'T just jettison your entire life by coming out to your family. Most of the time, it doesn't work out well. Despite the success stories documented here, the odds are very greatly against you. Don't allow the pink fog to cloud your judgement, like I did. When I came out to my wife, then my mom and sister, I basically blew up my life. Remember, if you do wind up alone, the odds of finding a woman who is okay with crossdressing to date are extremely slim at best, and impossible at worst. Should you ever decide to transition, and indulge your 'inner woman', and still desire a woman as a mate, your chances are virtually zero. Not absolute zero, there are maybe a handful of women in the entire world who are romantically and sexually turned on by, and interested in, a MTF TS. But maybe five out of 4 billion is still essentially zero.
This IS your life right now. But keep working on everything, and try to find ways of making things better. The kids do need help. One needs to find a job, the other is going to school. That's a start. Male RN's are always in demand, so when he's finished, there will be jobs waiting for him, as long as he's not the type to insist on the perfect position right out of school. The girl med tech as well needs to work on it, too. She has a marketable skill, so there's got to be somewhere that she can start, if only part time at first. She just needs to get out there and keep looking. Frustrating, I know. But it has to be done. Just tread gently, because it sounds like you're living in a tinderbox ready to explode.
