Not attracted to males in either mode. So I guess that makes me a hetero male lesbian?
Not attracted to males in either mode. So I guess that makes me a hetero male lesbian?
Nope. I'm heterosexual. If you can 'see yourself' being attracted to a 'totally nice male', then you're either gay or bisexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that!Originally Posted by JaniceP
I'm just always amazed that there are so many guys here who think that they are 'totally straight', yet admit that 'when dressed as a girl', only then do they find themselves attracted to, and fantasizing about having sex or a romantic relationship of some kind with a man.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Deebra,
I'm trying to avoid using the term male lesbian but that is how I feel inside , so I would only relate to a GG under those circumstances . OK I admit some members of my social group are making their intentions obvious , there is very mild interplay but nothing that would upset other people in public , my brain just isn't wired that way to relate to another guy no matter how he is dressed .
While I prefer not to say too much but I've seen some members regret the few minutes of experimentation afterwards , some friendships have been totally ruined .
Deebra its broccoli.
Porn is just disgusting to me and it makes me think why does some one spend hours watching it?
Is it they have no sex life? Spouse has cut them off? Have fantasies that rule their every waking moment?
Maybe I am too old fashion and the word love actually means something.
Last edited by Tracii G; 04-23-2019 at 10:50 AM.
This topic comes up ALOT!
So having a discussion is a good thing.
To most of you keeping it pg - I thank you for remembering this is a support forum for family and friends as well.
To those who keep posting their point of view repeatedly including salacious comments . KNOCK it off .
If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.
F.A.B. Forum Access
Back to the Gypsy that I was !
Administrator
It doesn't matter how nice he is, I have never been attracted to a man. This view doesn't change with what I am wearing.
Tracii,
I do belive that is the crux of the subject , it's not love but purely sex . People in loving relationships don't need the World and it's neighbour to know !
I think a lot of this boils down to security in identity and the fragility of masculinity far too many possess. I think more people fit more towards the middle of the sexuality continuum and that of masculinity and femininity than would like to admit it and CDing for some provides the protection and almost the social permission to express and act on those thoughts both sexual and non-sexual. I have had romantic feelings for both genders both when I identified strictly as male and tried to suppress any thoughts of potential transition or feminine expression in any form and now that I'm exploring the real me to see where I actually fit. My journey isn't sexual it's a quest for truth and authenticity to find out who exactly the real me is and what she needs. All I know is that even though I prefer women if I ever do end up with a male partner any shame I may have felt in that is gone and I can thank letting go of the rigidity of what everyone saw me as and wanted me to be for that. I'm still in the process of accepting myself and figuring out what exactly it is that I need to accept and I have a long way to go but I'm on my way and that makes me happy.
Like its been said before many here claim to be straight but are really not but just haven't admitted it to themselves.
How wearing womens clothes somehow magically makes them bi or whatever.No no it doesn't.
I don't buy that for one second just wearing a dress makes you want to submit to a man sexually.
One may fantasize about it but thats it.
If you are bi or gay you just know it from a very early age.If you are straight you wouldn't understand it because you don't know the feeling.
I admit to having fantasies of attracting a man or another CDer while dressed. If that means I tend towards Bi, so be it.
But it is unlikely that anything will ever come of such feelings for me.
Suppression is a powerful force. I'm not saying that dressing as a woman makes someone bi or gay. If someone's gay bi or trans then they always were. But many factors (family reaction social cost among others) can force someone to suppress those desires in an attempt to be "perfect" or at least "normal" The acceptance of the need to CD can be for these people that true self coming out just like how seeing oneself as a woman for the first time can help a trans person realize that it's more than clothes or sex but a reflection of who they really are. For a gay or bi CD it's probably not that same deep connection with themselves so much as a conduit or tool to help them accept their sexuality as it always was. No magic. Just acceptance. Most of what I've just typed here is speculative because I don't have a lot of experience outside my assigned gender yet but I imagine that these words may hold some validity. It's the only way I can rationalize this phenomenon of people "only being attracted to men when CDing" but perhaps I'm way off base here.
It’s flattering to be found attractive by men but that’s as far as it goes for me.
I have read all the post to this point and went back to the OP post. My answer is NO. I have no desires to be a woman. I just like the cloths, shoes, make-up etc. I find that I do not even have a desire to have a relationship even in drab. The last time I was in a relationship it was great but my SO (were I got the name Mary from) died. With that all sexual desires left.
Now I am thinking of dropping the "Mary" portion of my name and just be "Leslie Shy".
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
For me my CDing is a very special thing I share with my wife, so no, I don't think crossdressing has anything to do with being attracted to the same sex. I think if one is attracted to the same sex, or both sexes, then that would present whether one was dressed or not.
But not everyone finds that they enjoy it. I know several CD's who 'gave it ago', and found out that they really didn't like it. And that's absolutely fine. Not everyone has the same tastes or desires. I say this because I don't want to support your position that the "D" is magical and will make every CD into a bi-/gay individual.
No, not everyone has to try new things. Some people are very comfortable with the boundaries they choose not to cross. And to be brutally honest here, it sounds like you may be a teeny-tiny bit uncomfortable knowing that you engage in activities that others don't find appealing. Your attempts to paint every CD/Transperson with the same brush is obvious, and obviously desperate.
I know many girls who will never, ever, engage romantically with a man, even if you held a gun to their head. That is their choice.
I also know girls who were confirmed gay LONG before they ever put on an article of feminine clothing. And some of them have come to realize that they prefer presenting as female, and some have even come to think they were trans.
On these boards, we have a HUGE range of people; from those who only indulge in panty wear, up to people who are in transition and living 24/7. Some folk who have never stepped out of the house (and don't intend to) to folks who are out and in the public eye.
As for myself, I am Transgender. In therapy, and trying to build up the courage to go full time & start HRT. Currently, because of my work situation, this is dicey. I have a BF, who treats me like a woman, and cares for me as Jodie. Since I have boy parts, and he has boy parts, I have no problem accepting the label of "gay". Perhaps, Deebra, you need to discard the porn fantasy, and accept that you are gay. At least until the outside body matches the inner mind.
An aside, and food for thought:
Talking to my ex-wife, when she pointed out that, with male genitals, anytime I am with a man, it is gay sex. I had to agree, but asked her: "If I had all the surgeries, hormones, and lived 24/7, would I still be gay?" She replied, honestly, that she didn't know. Thoughts? Opinions?
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!
Jodie: first of all, don’t worry too much about Deebra. She’s so hot and passable that she’s on another level than the rest of us (or something).
Second, I firmly believe in the principle that trans women ARE women. Therefore, since you are trans, you are a woman, and thus sex with a man for you would be straight sex. Judging by “parts” simply does not work. For example, what about a man who has maybe lost... things... in some sort of accident. Would that mean he has lesbian sexual with women? Or women who have been circumcised? They don’t have ALL of the female parts so are they genderless?
I sincerely hope I'm not being salacious.This topic comes up ALOT!
So having a discussion is a good thing.
To most of you keeping it pg - I thank you for remembering this is a support forum for family and friends as well.
To those who keep posting their point of view repeatedly including salacious comments . KNOCK it off .
Am I?
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I fully agree with you!
I posed the question to some family members: "If a woman had a double mastectomy, and a full hysterectomy, is she still a woman? If a man lost his 'junk', is he still a man?" The answer they gave was "Of course!" I asked 'why?', and they were lost for an answer. I suggested there was a mental component that signaled "I am male/I am female" beyond the physical markers of gender. I think I left them confused.
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!
I have never had any desire to be with a man. Quite the opposite. When I'm dressed, I think about being with women. I guess I'm just a lesbian in a man's body.
We have to be careful about statements where we profess that a lot of the population 'OH, look, everyone is really just like ME!', because it's usually just our own insecurity, which is generating wishful thinking in order to feel that we are actually part of the norm.
There's nothing wrong with being different.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Good point sometimes miss.
I never understood why people want to be the same as someone else.
Being different is what I strive for.
I was a hippy in the late 60s and while on a "trip" I realized I was just like everyone else,long hair,tye dyed clothes, dirty jeans etc.
The next day I stopped being a follower and decided to be myself and blaze my own trail.
One thing I have realized in my relatively long time on this earth is that we are all different in some ways, and at the same time we are all very similar. Lots of our stories are similar inasmuch as how we have trodden our paths, but we all tread slightly different paths. That is just the human condition. In these differences are differences of sexuality, how we feel about fellow humans, and there are a whole lot of contributory factors. All I can speak about is my feeling that we are born with certain proclivities that seldom change. I have always felt somewhere in between the gender stereotypes of man and woman, and have been attracted to the male as well as to the female. I have had encounters with men while dressed and not dressed, women while dressed and not dressed, and a lot in between while dressed and not dressed. I have loved all of those encounters, and derived a great deal of satisfaction, both sexual and relational with all of them bar very few. Thank god for diversity and our ability to embrace itLet's try not to get wrapped up in pedantics, taboos and denial.
I am attracted to men only
I think for some it's a balancing act between fantasy vs. reality. A long time ago, I was propositioned by a man and I turned him down. Does that make me straight? Who knows? I have since not been in a similar situation. Sometimes I think I am straight with a few curves. For me, those curves live in my fantasy world where pretty much anything goes. In reality, I love being with and everything about women too much to want to even consider crossing the line. Quite honestly, the only person I want to be with is my wife.
Well said and I too have travelled a similar path. All experiences were mostly good and satisfying for everyone involved. It’s our one life, no dress rehearsal so go live and enjoy it!One thing I have realized in my relatively long time on this earth is that we are all different in some ways, and at the same time we are all very similar. Lots of our stories are similar inasmuch as how we have trodden our paths, but we all tread slightly different paths. That is just the human condition. In these differences are differences of sexuality, how we feel about fellow humans, and there are a whole lot of contributory factors. All I can speak about is my feeling that we are born with certain proclivities that seldom change. I have always felt somewhere in between the gender stereotypes of man and woman, and have been attracted to the male as well as to the female. I have had encounters with men while dressed and not dressed, women while dressed and not dressed, and a lot in between while dressed and not dressed. I have loved all of those encounters, and derived a great deal of satisfaction, both sexual and relational with all of them bar very few. Thank god for diversity and our ability to embrace it
not me I'm 100% lesbian.
Angie
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