At one point in my life, years ago, I was the "other woman" in a gay-male couple's open marriage. (Technically it was a civil union, and they had been together for like 15 years, but whatever.)

I was also single at the time.

So, that's where I'm coming from, with all this.


I'm not sure what the other guy knew (he was a workaholic), and to what extent. He was never physically involved (never all 3 of us), but we knew each other socially. We never mentioned it or hinted at it.

Though from what I understand, he was okay with his partner doing things on the side -- as long as he was "safe," and that their relationship remained happy & intact.


It was a great experience for me. If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. I simply *had* to see what it was like on the other side... I was always fully en-femme, and I always took on the traditional female role, every time. Otherwise, it was a no-go.

That lasted a while, but all good things have to come to an end, one way or another. I was a bit sad & disappointed when the guy I was sleeping with eventually called the whole thing off, seemingly out-of-the-blue. No more dating, no more sex, no more friendship.

Did something happen between the couple, to cause that? Did the internal guilt finally get to him? Something else? I don't know, and never will.


But I learned a lot about myself, in the process. For one, I can now say for certain that I much prefer being in a relationship with a GG. Not that it was a bad experience, overall -- quite the opposite, really. I absolutely loved being treated like a hetero GG in that way... And I loved treating a guy, like a hetero GG would. Every time.

However, I no longer have that same gnawing curiosity & burning desire. I guess I got it "out of my system"? But there was only one way to truly do that, ya know?

I came, I saw, I went.


I will add, however, that I'm glad I did this when I was younger -- and single. If I had passed up this opportunity? What then? Would I still be experiencing that curiosity & desire, perhaps increasingly so, perhaps long after I had a wife & kids? What *then*??


Anyway, I'm not going to say what the OP should or shouldn't do. And I'm not going to agree or disagree, either way.

Can it be complicated? Yup. Worth it? Yup. Potentially disastrous? Yup. A big nothing-burger? Again, yup.

I do believe it can work in some cases. And in others, it could totally blow up. Or anywhere in-between.


Plenty of variables, for sure.

But the bottom line is, *we* don't know what's been going on in this marriage, and in their heart & minds. Only *they* do. We are only able to get small snippets, as outsiders looking in.


And for those who say "Don't do it!"... Would otherwise repressing it really be the best thing for all involved, instead?