This is a tough on to tackle, but I think one fresh perspective might be to loosen the schedule a little. Trust me, I 'get it' as far as working too hard, schedules being tight, and finding time to unwind, but maybe try not scheduling your dress time rigidly and being more open to spontaneity with your wife in your mutual down time. That may take a little communication between you and herself, but why not go out to dinner when you realize that she may want to instead of strictly adhering to it being 'your day'? On the flip side, if the urge to dress is heavy upon you, why not gently say to her that you need a little dress time to help relax and unwind? I gather if you and she are not otherwise engage she wouldn't object … especially if you're prioritizing her at other times.
Meanwhile, speaking of music, YES! That low bass not in Toccata and Fugue in Dm! When it comes to Bach, I love his fugues especially … like artistically working out a math problem with sublime elegance! If you're unwinding from stress, try this bit of music that's in a completely different direction … this is a ten minute excerpt of the Burundi drums, and I recommend it to be played with the volume set to 'eleven' on some chest rattling speakers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8wI49h-4qY
