I agree with Macey in this with respect to both it being a tough difficulty to solve and suggesting you be more flexible. Perhaps do what she wants to do sometimes without sticking to a schedule. That said, scheduling a time is useful, but it should not be rigid. Back in 2012 when I was seeing a gender therapist I also went to a group therapy session on Saturday evenings. I stuck to that strictly and it provided a really big boost to me, but my wife really did not like me doing that EVERY Saturday night. I switched to going to group only when it was really needed and she understood that and the rest of the time staying home. Things improved immensely when I began to recognize and do my part in addressing her needs, even if it was watching TV or reading or whatever. I was there and that was important for her.

Keep in mind that her perception is probably that she is losing her husband and her male mate. That plays hugely in the nature of the relationship and when that is gone there is nothing left for her. It is terrifying for her. It is important to be really sensitive to her needs at this time when you are making adjustments in your life. She also needs to be sensitive to your needs, but following a rigid schedule is not the way to achieve that. It tends to be divisive and, as Macey says, being more spontaneous helps a great deal. It is no solution, but it can sure lower the blood pressure when there is this tension between you.

The behavior that is so important to you is produced by about a half dozen structures in your brain. You really can't stop that, but your brain is amazingly flexible in exactly how the needs your brain is producing are addressed. It is all in your thinking and exploring other types of expression besides just dressing fully may provide just as much fulfillment as dressing fully. And, like my wife, she might find that more acceptable. When you are out and about observe how women as a whole dress these days. Not many skirts and dresses; more pants and rather plain shirts. Try the very casual look and see if that works for you, but allow enough time for your brain to adjust to this new expression. It might not work, but try it. I tried going the transition route and it really didn't work out very well for me and it drove my wife nuts. Now I use men's wear from the waist down and women's T shirts or sweatshirts that are obviously designed for women, but not with distinctly feminine patterns. Works great for me. Might not for you, but try it. I have shifted my feminine expression from dressing to behavior - sensitive, empathic, compassionate. And I changed my communication from masculine "statement" style to feminine "questioning" style. The feminine style opens the door to communication and relationship; the masculine style is kind of like putting an exclamation point at the end of a sentence. That is not really helpful because women prefer to open communication rather than close the door.