Hi Robin,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm very saddened to read that it's something that you feel you had to do knowing it won't make you happy. I respect your decision and is good that your share it with everyone. Although reading the physical changes from detransition - is like a nightmare scenario for me...
You shared little about your job and I get the feeling that it's something very important to you and you don't want to lose it. With that said, I thought to share that I have a senior engineering position with my company where no one to my knowledge is openly trans. I became the first one and nothing really changed. I wonder how much of your fear about being known as trans at your job is in your head vs. the real downside to you. The world is changing. We have gay candidates for president, transgender state senators, and assembly persons, military officers, etc. The world is getting better thanks to all who came before us.
Anyways, I hope you could find peace one way or another. There is no stigma about whether you will change your mind or not. I suggest to work with a therapist. It's important to maintain mental health through this difficult stage in your life.
Hugs,
Katya
