Helen,
Your assumption was off. Those at work did not know that I had begun transition. I was transitioning medically before transitioning socially. While physical changes were occurring, people see what they expect to see until the dissonance between their eyes and their brains requires them to reevaluate what they expect. When you change right in front of someone, they just adjust as you go. There was real change between starting HRT in October and December but not so radical that anyone that saw me everyday would notice. I started spiro at the end of December and that with the increase in E gave me good results but I was only on the job until March 6th. Once I increased both again in April, things really took off. When I stopped I was approaching the next appointment with another increase in dosages. Had I continued, I would have had increases in October and perhaps this month.
Are the "gremlins" on my shoulders whispering in my ears? Well, I think that is what I said. I don't fear for my job. I don't fear that I will lose my income or health insurance or face the issues that many of our sisters do who have the strength to see it through. It takes a lot of courage to transition and become who you really are. I don't have that kind of courage. Going to war, I've done that. It is scary but, no problem. Put on a skirt and makeup and go to work? I'm not that brave, even though it represents who I am.
Robin