That's the point I am trying to make. If you allow yourself to be "marginalized" because of something that is a part of who you are, it's on you. We don't get to redefine a term because it makes us feel uncomfortable. No... we don't. Trust me. It took me a very long time to accept that the term transsexual applied to me. It is who/what I am and I will not be ashamed; will not be marginalized beyond what is within my ability to control.
Look, I'm not saying that a fetish dresser has to be "out and proud". There are plenty of valid reasons for not doing that. I am saying that those to whom the term applies should stop being ashamed of it.