"My wife is beautiful and exactly the type of woman that I like."
"End of the day, marriage is a partnership, and I respect and love my wife too much to upset her by pushing anything on her."

Apparently your wife is not the type of woman that you like by virtue of the fact she does not want to cave into being molded into the woman you expect. Decades ago my wife and I had "The Talk." It was still in my period of self loathing. I was pushing for her approval. If she accepted me, then I must be alright. My self worth was contingent upon her acceptance? It took a while for me to realize what I was doing was no more than spousal mental abuse. I was not being respectful of my wife's point of view. When we were married she was presented a "set of goods." "Here I am!" "This is me!" There was no bargaining. Of course, there is always the unknown. Things change. People change. Life is fluid. However, sometimes there are core values that will not change. To me, all the expectations you are proposing reflect somewhat of an "in your face attitude." You're proposing to throw out to her every day a constant reminder in the hopes she will cave in. I'm sure she is thinking, "If I relent, what's next?"

I decided pushing my cross dressing needs or desires or whatever was ticking with in me was not contingent upon my wife acceptance. When I finally came to terms with myself, I realized I did not need any validation from her or anyone else. I was and am left with the problem of dealing with other people. Foremost, that is my wife. I have chosen to not violate her core values. As she said, "If I wanted to be married to a woman, then I would have married a woman!" I found it rather simple.

Where you and I "fall of the spectrum" may be different. I know where my wife "falls of the spectrum." She told me, if I wanted to join a support group that was alright with her. I looked. None were to be found in the early 1980's. My wife has chosen to live in very very tight DADT marriage where there is absolutely no discussion. She and I have gay/lesbian friends and acquaintances. She has a transman second cousin who just had a baby. She is supportive of the LGBTQ community. She just wants the man she married. It is rather simple. If I want to express myself, then I need to take it outside the house.

I did not marry a "Stepford" wife.