To Face The Truth...

[Sara Jessica]

I've thought of this thread just about daily since writing it. Gosh knows I've been too exhausted with life to get back here to do it justice once again. And who knew what I'd find in returning sometime after 5/22 and before 5/24.

I value all of the posts here. I thought @Lydianne had a rather intimidating curiosity...

But I would love to read more detail about the no "meaningful gender expression that is true to my nature" line.

It is only intimidating because it reinforces my current truth. There is utterly no expression. Mercifully in a pandemic world of 15+ months of working from home, I'm not pining for anything. No outings into the real world. No stewing desire to have alone time at home. Nothing.

But let me make something crystal clear. The essence of my being remains intact despite my dysphoria being in the negative range. It isn't like a switch flipped off and I became something different than I was. it's just that the expression part of my equation is no longer mandatory of late.

Mercy has a strange way of working.

Hi Sara,
Nice to hear from u. I can assure u, u never let me down in any way. Quite the opposite. U helped me discover the T events in Vegas where I could experiment and find out who Sherry really was. Which all led up to the person or people I am today! I can never thank u enuff for all your caring acceptance.

If u ever need me, I'm here. I still think of those special times with my special T friend and the special gifts she gave me! Cheers!

Sherry, all I can say is that it is only a matter of time that you get a random text message from me suggesting we go out for a coffee or beer (depending on the time of day, or not!). I miss everything about you and love our amazing memories.

Of all the weird co-incidences. I don't care to remember how long it was since I last checked in here... and by dumb luck I happen on this thread from you less than two days after you wrote it! Tell me there's no weird karma at work there.

Anyway, glad to hear that you are well and in a good place on your gender journey. As Sherry said, forget any notion of "failing" us. Friendship doesn't work like that. (And "forsaken"?!? C'mon...) Our friendship has been anchored in much more than trans-ness for a long feckin' time at this point. The particulars of your gender don't matter to me; only that you are sufficiently happy with the outcome.

And now, back into hiding.

~ Erica

No, it wasn't coincidence. If there is such thing as a cosmic connection, we have it. Version History and a leap of faith brought us together. Friendship transcends (you made that clear during one of our early outings) and endures. Although it isn't as easy to reconnect as it might be with Sherry, we will do so sooner than later.

Memory for today...

I hope Erica doesn't mind if I share this from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. May 2009 to be precise.

After several days of vacationing in Vegas last Thursday-Sunday, you'd think I have had enough of girl mode for the time being. But when opportunity presents itself, sometimes it has to be seized. And with my dear friend Erica making another visit from the east coast, I couldn't resist the chance to share with her my DLV adventures in the first person.

So we met on Monday at Del Amo, a mall which is convenient for both of us. Erica wanted to pick something up at Ann Taylor but more importantly, some great dining options are at the opposite end of this maze of a mall from where we met up. Erica suggested we return to PF Changs where we dined the last time we got together in this area. See the following for a refresher...

(sorry, link no longer works)

I replied that I should have looked into my email history to find the names of the server and manager who treated us so nice. Oh well I thought, but as we walked into the restaurant, we were greeted with instant (and enthusiastic) recognition from the manager and hostess!!! Our waitress wasn't working that night but we were served by a very nice young man who treated us wonderfully as well. So the manager stopped by a few times during our time there and even spent some quality time, once to look at my Vegas pictures and then she proceeded to have a several minute conversation with Erica in Spanish.

All in all a wonderful evening. It was great to catch up once again with Erica as I had to apologize for totally monopolizing the conversation with talk of my trip, something she was all good with! I have to say I'm looking forward to her next visit when hopefully we can return to this wonderful establishment where we are treated like absolute royalty...the only surprise this time was of the pleasant variety in being remembered so fondly after about six months!!!

Here's a picture of Erica and I in the restaurant...

IMG_0183smaller2.jpg

Back to 2021...It is important to note that Del Amo isn't really any less of a maze after all these years.