Quote Originally Posted by Blonde617 View Post
Decided to tell my family, friends, and kids over the last six months. This was not without risk, as I?d lost some friends in the past.

But so far, so good! And it?s a relief not to have to hide so much, as I want to start going out again in a limited way.
Good for you.

I think the telling bit of information is your kids chose you versus your ex. Says a lot about who the sane one is.

Telling diffuses a potential bomb or blackmail that she can throw at you.

Stephanie47
I read posts like this and the responses way too many times and wonder why the heck tell a wife, before or after the "I do." The rarity of finding a partner who will embrace these little "quirks" are so few and far in between it makes concealing a viable alternative. It bad enough a woman will not embrace the totality of a husband, but to poison the well so others may not drink from it is going a little bit too far. I wonder what goes through a wife's mind as she searches and destroys her husband fem attire. What does she think she is accomplishing? Does it change who he is? Does it expunge that part of him from her mind? Sometimes I think when a woman does these things she is molding her "Prince Charming" into her view of the perfect husband. No rough edges for her.
Why disclose?
1. It's the right thing to do.
2. The potential spouse might be extremely or moderately accepting, especially these days when younger folks have a lot more tolerance.
3. It makes it easier than always having to hide. My wife is reasonably tolerant, would prefer I not go out, or only go out when out of town, but I can tell her I am going out and my clothes are hanging in our walk-in closet.

There is always a bit of anti-selection in these types of posts. Those who have issues with spouses are far more likely to post and rant than those with tolerant spouses, IMO.