Nancy, I could be wrong, but from what I read here from GGs so far, I am under the impression that most GGs care a great deal about it, and the exceptions are more those who don't. This may be more true for those couples like mine where the husband hid and lied, but still.
Apart from that, I agree very much with your last sentence.
And find also Kelli's last sentence very touching. Too bad her wife doesn't get a chance to read these lines.
I think also that since this is a public forum there may be a number of wives surfing it without their husband knowing. Googling up "crossdresser forum" comes back with this site in the top results, I myself stumbled on it quite quickly a while back, so.