I have read everyone's answers and see one common thought. She may not be ashamed but would be concerned if anyone else found out. To me that is ashamed.
I divorced my first wife (30 years) because of things she did and her intolerant view of me. When i told her of my dressing (many years into our marriage) she said to get back in the closet. Definitely ashamed and disapproved.
I remarried soon after, and while i think we should tell our SO prior to getting married, i told her of my dressing 6 months later. She was supportive and has mostly been that way for the last 15 years. I would say she would be ashamed if anyone found out but she recognizes that Janet is just a part of who i am.
One of our closest female friends recently commented that my compassionate nature is very much a woman and her wording was "you are such a woman" in a positive light. I had to chuckle inside, she doesn't know how right she is.
I am really blessed to have a loving wife that will even have sex with me dressed and treat me like a woman from time to time.
Ashamed? That is a tricky question, approving, no not really. Very , very tolerant with a husband that most often starts the day in a dress and all that goes with it. Underdresses every day, dresses up an hour before bed and sleeps in women's pajamas every night.
