It is so much more complicated than "ashamed, yes or no?"
My wife has gone out with me in a dress for Halloween a couple of times. She seemed pretty cool about it then. At one point during a Halloween dance, we were slowly dancing and she was looking up into my eyes with such love. THAT was amazing.
Otherwise, she has only gone out with me wearing shorts and pantyhose on four occasions (in 25 years). On two of the occasions, she seemed to have the same fear that I had when I first went out in public.
If we are sitting in bed watching TV, if I am wearing all menswear, she will touch feet with me, but not if I am wearing even one pretty garment. She doesn't "want to encourage it". She is scared of the dressing itself, I think.
If crossdressing hasn't been discussed in a while, if something comes up, she tends to pause and look at me with discomfort on her face.
She is normally uncomfortable with any crossdressed outing I go on, even if it is an hour away from home.
She doesn't want the kids to know, nor any family, nor any friends, nor any church acquaintances.
She has tolerated me dressing around the house on the rare occasions when it is just the two of us. Sometimes, it makes her uncomfortable.
As long as nobody knows, and I never go anywhere, and it stays a secret, and I never touch her, she is only slightly uncomfortable with it.
But yeah, I think there is shame in there.
