I think there is too much emphasis to categorize people into boxes. To me, it's like school; choose the right answer on a multiple choice test or write an essay. Explain yourself to others with sentences and paragraphs and not a single word.
As to the nightgown, ask your wife if she would object to you sleeping in a nightgown. I can understand your wife saying no to her nightgowns, especially if it is a special one or one made of material that does not wear well. Before my cross dressing progressed from just nightgowns to more my wife and I shopped together for several nightgowns. She had input and there were no surprises. I still have what is now a vintage peignoir purchased in 1972; and I still wear it.
