I don't understand feeling guilty about it. You said you were single. For anyone who is married and steps outside the marriage, you ought to feel guilty. The more guilt the better.

Regardless of who you're having sex with, these things don't just happen. It's a deliberate act that requires some forethought. I don't understand how one could make a conscious decision to do something and then feel guilty about it, at least not more than once.

I was steadfastly monogamous throughout a very long marriage, and just as steadfastly straight. When the marriage ended though, I "experimented". It was something I wanted to do and thought I should do before getting on with my life. Took me a while to work through the "baggage" of a conservative upbringing and a while for the right opportunity to present, but when everything came together, it redefined sex for me. Nuff said. The biggest takeaway was the the next morning I was exactly the same person I had been the night before. Same thing for the next time, and every time after that. Seems obvious, and I'm probably not articulating my point very well. I guess it just seemed to me that if I had been straight on Friday night, but was gay on Saturday morning... seems like such a monumental change would have made some difference. It didn't, and that's a point I remember when dealing with anybody who I think might be gay. Guess I had to learn by doing. Fact is, if my friends, family, and acquaintances had known what I was up to, they would have looked at me differently. This is not the first time I've revealed that about me on this forum, and I know that some people on here think differently about me after learning that. Less of me, TBH.

The other thing for me is, it reinforced that I'm a relationship-driven person (I guess technically a straight-relationship-driven person). While I much prefer sex with men, I CANNOT STAND to even consider anything that resembles a relationship with one. A small sample size, for sure, but enough that I know that there is no possibility for a meaningful relationship. Given the choice between the best sex ever and a good long-term relationship with a woman, I'd choose the relationship every time. Much as I'd like to pretend that's not a problem, it is. I'm still a work in progress.