Well, thanks.Originally Posted by DianeT
The post where I covered that was probably before you came here. Beyond that, it rarely matters. When the "gay" topic comes up on here it is a hot button topic. Since it's often the first question/fear of many SOs I think it should probably get a full airing. But, when I've seen it come up, I don't think it's dealt with honestly. The discussion drifts into fantasies over here and fears over there. The "only when I'm dressed" thing comes out, and the "it's not gay if I feel like a woman" thing. It sets off heated defenses and gets dissected and sliced into such tranparently thin slices that the very definition of gay is completely lost. It is the most exhausting and frustrating thing discussed on this forum, and to some large extent, it doesn't matter, or shouldn't.
I wasn't gay when I was married. That statement alone sets people off. "You can't change", ya' know. That urge is impossible to resist. That's the narrative. I can't get into the whole thing without writing one of my "gazettes", as Diane has termed my boring and long tirades, so I'll resist that. Not in the mood anyway. Besides, as you can probably tell, I'm a little touchy about it. Suffice to say that things I once found off-putting and so foreign to me that I just couldn't go there, well... I went there. When I got on this elevator early in life when I was making decisions that didn't seem like decisions, and I'd pushed a button to get off on a different floor... who knows. It was a very different time. Life turned out pretty awesome, for the most part. If I'd gotten off on that different floor, I'd probably be saying the same.
