Julie, I'm sorry you feel this way but for those of us who have never even had a trace of this in our lives, it is all a little confusing and mind boggling.
For everyone else, since I wrote last night, I do think that if my husband would've outright told me, I would've never given him a chance. I was 22 at the time (10 years ago) and pretty immature. We would never be where we are now...only a few months away from having our 4th child.
I'm not sure there really ever is a good time to tell I suppose. For me it was about the fact that I am a very open person and never kept anything from him. When he told me, I felt that up until that point he hadn't offered me that same respect. He also told me on the morning of my 29th birthday as a "gift." At the time I could definitely see that it took a lot of courage and guts to tell me. He explained how it began, and psychologically speaking I could understand how that event lead him into it. However, as Stephanie said, I have very deep religious faith. In fact, I had become a born again Christian a year prior to him telling me. So as you can imagine, it floored me and shook my faith.
Even though I tried to be accepting those very few short weeks 3 years ago, I simply couldn't handle it and tried to make him put it away. Like I said earlier in the thread, it took my new boss telling me two months ago about his struggle being gay. It may me think what I a bitch I am to force my husband to be something other than who he really is. I cried for weeks every time I thought about it and finally a few weeks before Christmas surprised my husband by buying him a few pieces of clothing. I think hearing about my bosses struggle and story coming from the "outside" if you will, really helped me put things into perspective. PLease know that I am not saying my husband is gay or that CD'ers are gay, I'm only referencing my bosses plight because it is what helped open my eyes.
I love my husband more than anything in this world and him coming on this forum and interacting with you all has actually helped us communicate more. He'll ask me if I read a certain post and what I thought and he'll let me read what he writes and vice versa. It's started a dialogue and I thank the owners of this board for starting such a wonderfully supportive place. It makes me feel comfortable that it's not a "pick up joint" or sex type site and that both husband's and wives and SO's all participate here.
