Dear Melissa,
It sounds to me like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. End the marriage but stay in the house with all the percs of marriage without any responsibility to work on the relationship? That's a pretty one sided situation. She would be out on her a*s, "toot sweet" if I had anything to do with it.
Please take any and all steps needed to protect yourself. She may pick you clean before you know what hit you. Find a trusted friend (perhaps your father) and start salting away some of your assets beyond her reach. This could turn messy.
Stephenie
